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Please help with 13 yr old sd. We have had fc of her and her sister and my three for 6 yrs. the 13 yr old defies everything and everyone. Help!

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Asked by katt_1025 at 4:11 AM on May. 1, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Wow. So if I understand you have had her since she was 7. The only thing you can do is take away all priviledges and she has to earn them back with good behavior. Take away cell phone , ipod , computer everything. No hanging with friends. In order to help I would have to know more about the situation. Did this just start or has she always been defiant. Most 13 year olds don't like to be told what to do. They want to have some control. Is she hanging with the wrong people? Could she be doing drugs? I hate to say it, but I would start by searching her room when she is not home. I would also look at her texts if she has a cell.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 8:22 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I would start with therapy. She must feel abandoned by her birth mother

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:38 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • 13 is tough- don't tell her to do things, ask her to do them. Give her respect and let her know that respect is very important in life. Make sure she has rules and consequences for breaking them. Give her some space. Let her know that you are always there for her and most of all- spend some time with her doing things SHE likes and actually take an interest in them, and communicate. Talk with her -not at her, and LISTEN to her.
    Ask her if things are going ok at school, with friends that kind of thing- and depending on the situation, maybe some counseling

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:32 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I agree with charlotsomtimes

    Answer by tazdvl at 10:26 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Been there done that. I gets worse as they get older. Counseling didn't work for my sd. Just hang in there and make sure she doesn't get all the attention with her bad behaviour or the other kids will start acting up to. Try to find step mom support, it's hardest job in the world.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 8:56 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Counseling is a good start, for her and as a family.

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:46 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • This is where the tough parenting comes in. Be strong and GL.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:54 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • got to set rules and everyone back everyone up

    Answer by mommyof3-2008 at 8:41 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Counseling and consistency with love.

    Answer by Jerichos_Mommy at 2:46 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • I would just keep punishing her. Don't waver and be consistent with all of the kids. That way she doesn't feel like she is being singled out.

    Answer by malexander2009 at 2:55 PM on May. 24, 2011

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