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Help, my friend has a question

She is married and recently her husbands friend (who he grew up with) moved back to town after living out of state for over 30 years. He has been here a month and half now. He calls several times a day. This friend-is over their house every day for two or more hours. And her husband who seems to be spending less and less time with her, well when his friend shows up he visits with him and seems to be happier around his friend and he ignores his wife. Her husband is grumpy before his friend comes over and doing his own thing instead of spending time with his wife. Before his friend moved back he was spending more time with her and drinking less. Now he is being distant to my friend and drinking more. He waits on his friend when hes over, yet won't wait on his wife. When she tells her husband that she feels he spends more time with his friend than her and that he is nicer to his friend than her, he gets defensive and tells her somerthing is wrong with her. How should she deal with this?

 
dmr73059

Asked by dmr73059 at 8:24 AM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (841 Credits)
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Answers (3)
  • she needs to sit down with her husband and make him listen to what is going on... even if she had to tell the friend not to come over one day... husband may be trying to find an outlet to get out because heis not hapy. but also he could just be doing something "new" but she deff. needs to have a heart to heart with her husband..
    hoobasweet

    Answer by hoobasweet at 8:34 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the previous answer. Your friend needs to keep trying to talk to her husband until he actually "hears" her. Maybe she should hang out with her own friends and see if he likes being treated second-hand. There may be something going on that she is not aware of; maybe he isn't happy with her or just needs this time to bond with his friend. After a few more attempts, I would contact a counselor or therapist so she has an objective opinion and she can have the situation put into perspective for her. Guys often act differently with other guys in front of their spouses, SO, etc. because they feel that they have to prove their "manliness" or show who's the boss. As women, we are more emotional; men are more analytical. However, they don't stop and think about what they're doing and how it affects others.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 9:07 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • he needs to listen how she feels. She does not need to be putting up with that, tell him like it is..
    ashes27165

    Answer by ashes27165 at 11:22 AM on May. 1, 2011

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