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2 Bumps

How do i deal with this?

my stepson will be 11 in june. he has no mental or physical problems. the dr says he is perfectly healthy. for some reason he will dirty himself. then he will hide his dirty clothes in the landuary basket, under his bed, under his dresser and in his closet. he willnot tell anyone, he changes his clothes and goes on like nothing happened. my dh and i have tried talking to him but nothing seems to help. we even told his dr who says that there is nothing medical wrong. how do i gethim to stop? i dnt know what to do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on May. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • Have they run tests on his bowels? If not I would make sure they do a series of tests on him to look at him and make sure there is not more going on. Kids will lie (as you see) about things they find embarrassing.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:37 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • Hun, this is the way teens clean their room and he probably does this in a hurry to make like his room is neat and picked up, and then just forgets....

    Answer by older at 9:46 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I don't think any teen would do that on purpose. He's very embarrassed I know there is a medical condition that causes that. They have no sensation of having to empty their bowels. I'd get another medical opinion.


    Answer by meooma at 9:50 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • You need a gastroenterologist not a pediatrician.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the pps - I would get another opinion. Also, I think I would get him a special hamper or small laundry basket for his room, then take him aside and show him how to do laundry. Then I would explain to him that you know that he can't always help it, and that this is embarrassing to him, so this way, when it happens, he can put his soiled clothes in here (explain the importance of "rinsing out" if needed), and every day or so, he can just bring them down here and wash them himself.

    You can explain to him that this way, he doesn't have to be embarrassed and try to hide it, which is not a good thing (explain in a calm way about bacteria, and bugs, and ruining clothes when not handled properly).

    This way, he's not being humiliated if it's a medical problem he can't help, and if it's not (and it's lazy, not wanting to come in and go kind of thing), then having to do this could encourage him to stop.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:47 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • oh, btw - this is a similar approach that we took with our ds when he hit his teen years and started to get to that age of wet dreams and stuff... My dh was deployed a lot, so when he started to get to that age and he was taught about them, we taught him how to do laundry, so if he ever needed to, he could just simply change and wash his sheets, no questions asked, no comments made.

    He's now 18, and it's been a pretty good system.

    It won't solve the problem of WHY he's doing that - hopefully a specialist can help figure that out - but it can help deal with the situation that comes from whatever the problem is.

    good luck to you guys!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:49 AM on May. 1, 2011

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