Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do u think its wrong when parents have no limits?

like my son is 9months and his bedtime is at 830pm.
i know a lot who wait until the baby just falls asleep whenever!
or feeding their child whatever they want. cake and candy.
some parents say they want their kid to be free spirited even though they are a toddler??!
i know one who cuss at 2!!!! and parents think its funny!!!!!!
whats wrong with these ppl??? i know not all young parents are like that i m 20 and i will not let my son run over me when he is older. he ll have his limits!!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (33)
  • I think a lot of parent throw the words "free spirited", "gifted", or even "ADHD" around as an excuse for lazy parenting. That's sad, because it's the children who pay in the long run. It hinders proper treatment of kids with real problems, like Autism, and it's creating a generation of kids who see no consequences for thier actions.
    mamapotter

    Answer by mamapotter at 5:35 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • it bothers me how a lot of parents just dont care these days like "oh lets fill the babys bottle with soda" ? what the heck its like what are they thinking?? or letting the kids run loose all over someone elses house and mess it up! they dont have the nerve to clean after their child!!!!!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 6:37 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • im 22 and have a 5 month old and she isnt going to be running over me she already has rules bed time at 7:30pm nap at 11:30am. When she gets older the times might change but she will not be cussing at me my husband might let her run all over him but not when im around i didnt do that as a child and neither wll my children.
    dewey_scoles

    Answer by dewey_scoles at 8:50 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • It's because they are too lazy to parent.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I guess I'm one of those bad parents. I don't force my son to eat or sleep when I think he should. In my opinion you can encourage children all you want. If you force something they will ALWAYS in up rebelling one way or another. The cussing and cake and candy.. and soda in the baby bottle are going too far. But I think parents need to remember that their child has feelings and desires as well.

    sjanel

    Answer by sjanel at 9:14 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Well there are extremes to everything. I am not for that child led parenting, but this sounds like laziness. In many cases parents are just too afraid to say no. They don't want their child to hate them or not like them. THe exact opposite is true. They actually want boundaries and rules. I am glad that you can see this and keep this attitude for the future. At 9mos, its easy, but by the time they are smart mouthing you, it becomes much harder and you gotta get more firm. Then when they are teens, they really challenge you. Boundaries are a must!
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:24 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • If your son's bedtime is 8:30 what do you do when he doesn't want to go to sleep at 8:30? What if he is up playing and having fun hanging out with the family?

    My daughter is 8 months and she sleeps when she is sleepy. We are in bed by midnight and she sleeps with us. Some of our best family times are between 8 and 12 at night when we are all hanging out in the living room and the kids are getting sleepy... they are so sweet and cuddly then. We have fun, we have a 4 year old and 12 year old too.

    I can't imagine forcing my child to go to bed at a certain time. The 12 year old will go to bed on her on between 9 and 10 for school, because she has learned she feels like crap the next morning if she doesn't. The same for the 4 year old, she is learning.
    MercyBoo

    Answer by MercyBoo at 10:02 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • you know its funny b/c my DD is 4 now and let me tell you since she was 1 i would have rules and boundaries in place. When they are infants its a little different...But my MIL lets her get away with murder! (she babysat DD for me when i was working) but I am far from being a lazy parent, i told my MIL that if she does not set up boundaries or discipline her when she is there then my DD will never respect her, plus it makes it difficult for me when i get her back from her cause DD thinks she can do the same thing at home, and boy does she get a rude awakening! MIL complains that DD does not eat when she is there and i told her its b/c she gives her too many options! The woman puts out like 5 different things and thinks that a freakin ice cream sandwich is food! So DD does not go there as much and you know what my DD has more respect for me and knows that mommy will not accept certain behaviour from her!
    virgosuperstar

    Answer by virgosuperstar at 10:06 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I have also never forbidden food from my kids, and our oldest girls are thin and healthy. They are athletic and love to play, and even exercise with me. My 4 year old loves broccoli and apples (will always request apple fries with fast food), and will specifically ask for healthy food if she wants it... I have always let her eat pretty much whatever. She has had ice cream for breakfast, cookies, whatever. She eats when she is hungry, although we do have sit down dinner where everyone eats. She loves and will ask for pistachios and edemame. She has never had food choices limited to what "kids should eat"... she loves chicken curry too.

    I have seen children who become overweight as adults because they were forbidden to eat chocolate and other "bad" foods as children, so they move out and pig out. My brother did it. My kids eat chocolate any time they want it.
    MercyBoo

    Answer by MercyBoo at 10:08 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • We are strict bed-time family - our three year old is in bed by 6:30 and our six year old is in bed by 7:15. My DH & I both work outside the house and early to bed, early to rise is just our way of life.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:16 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN