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3 Bumps

If your husband was laid off and now unemployed, what would you expect out of him?

how much time would you give him to sit at home and enjoy being unemployed? would you (Sahms) expect that he help out with the kids and household stuff now that he is home all day, or would you continue to do it all yourself?

im asking because my husband is now going on over a month of being unemployed. it took 2 weeks for me to get him off his ass and go look. if it were me, and my family depended on me as the breadwinner, i would be out there everyday all day until i found something. am i being unrealistic here? now he has gotten better and searching daily, but it's hard in today's economy. he's even checked jobs like grocery stores and fast food places. i feel better that he's atleast trying.


as far as the rest of it goes though, i do expect him to help me out with parenting duties. however, he spends most of his day in his mancave with the door closed. i have talked to him numerous times about it and he says they can come in if they want to. but they don't want to sit in there and watch sports. so im still juggling a clean house and 3 happy kids under the age of 5. he can hide in there as much as he wants after 8pm, but until then i firmly believe he should be helping me out here or get a job. if i don't get to hide away from them all day then why should he? i understand people need breaks too.. but this is entirely different. he's okay about helping me with some chores, he doesn't do much but i appreciate the little he does and a lot of it i don't even have to ask. but this isolating himself from us all day is getting old!

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 11:05 AM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • My husband was laid off for 5-1/2 months starting from when DD was 17 months old. For the first few weeks he was very busy getting his contacts in order and submitting resumes by mail and online. After that, it was more of a waiting game with just a little bit of checking on things each day. I kept up with all my household duties as I normally would have if he was working, but finally I got sick and tired of doing everything while slept in and sat at the computer or on the couch. Thankfully he was great with DD, but he would not help around the house at all. Finally I just stopped. The last two months he was off, I didn't clean anything that didn't absolutely need cleaned. If he could be lazy, why couldn't I? Of course, it ended up biting me in the butt when he did get back to work and I was left to clean up my horridly messy house! LOL
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 11:09 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I would expect at least 5-6 applications to go out every week. I would expect him to help more with the kids. I would expect a reasonable amount of time to be spent on the computer figuring out our options. I would expect him to be taking aptitude test and be checking craigslist for odd jobs. I would expect him to be looking into school certificate options for a new career and scholarships/grants he could use to do it. I expect A LOT but we have been there. In the last 10 years DH has been laid off twice and I am currently unemployed...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 11:11 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • My hubby had no job for 3 months and he was looking everyday till he found one in Colorado it was only going to be temp. For 7 months but it became a full time job, so we moved from CA to CO . I did not want to leave the Grandkids, but you do what you have to do!

    And as for house work he has always helped, it our jobs to teach our hubby's to help from the very beginning. Never let him call helping you in your home womans work!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:33 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • I would expect my dh to look for another job immediately. He doesn't get anytime to relax or be depressed or anything. He needs to hit the ground running. I know there will be a lag before he get the call, so he needs to become Mr. Mom. I have a full time job outside of our home, so he would need to take over everything that I do AFTER I have worked 10 hours a day.
    sunrisekn

    Answer by sunrisekn at 11:48 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • he needs to get a move on a new job,and keep going till he does
    duwana

    Answer by duwana at 12:32 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I'd just give him a list of things I expected him to do and help with during the day. Be assertive tell him these things are now his responsibility, and if he doesn't do them they won't get done. Don't allow him to do nothing while you do it all.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:43 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I would expect my husband to be out everyday trying to find a job!!!!
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 12:45 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • my husband works out of state all the time and rarely comes home so the main thing I ask for when he gets here is (Whoopie) hahaha...jk jk seriously I pretty much pal around with him me and the kids..I dont worry about the job thing to much until the bills start pileing up..jobs are scarce now days..I would ask him to look and I would expect him to help with some of the things around the house make a honey do list..catch up on things that have been lacking (mans work)...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • My husband already helps me out w the kids and the house even though im also a sahm bc our jobs are 24/7 and theres 8 hrs so my husband better be helping out lol. So pretty much he does the same thing when hes laid off just more of it. And just FYI I still nurse my 1 yr and homeschool my 4 yr old and my husband would nvr expect me 2 go wrk outside of the hm no matter what. And to a previouse poster you can make it off unemployment if u play your cards right. My husband is a wonderful man and does whatever it takes to support his family. I love that hes so motivated. And u dont need to explain yourself to others, in our hm the man brings hm the bacon and we cook it lol, end of story.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 2:30 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • And to the a** that said sahm dont wrk just wait till u hve kids and c if your still saying that! And if u already hve kids then who raised them?
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 2:35 PM on May. 1, 2011

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