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4 Bumps

I just think she needs to get the stick out of her a$$ ...

I have been married for almost 7 years and we have 2 children together ( 5 and 3 ) .... Last year we found out that my husband has another child - a 9 year old daughter, who he never knew about.

The mom was with some other guy and when he left she then decided to THEN introduce her to her dad. We got a DNA test and he is the father and we have all been trying to make a good relationship but the mother just acts like a self rightous (sp) you-know-what.

SHE was the one who waited 9 years before letting him know of thise child, in fact she let another man raise her and let her call the other man daddy and let her have that connection with him ( he actually still wants something to do with her but the mom wont let him since he wont pay child support) ...

She gets mad that we do family things without her daughter, but then she gets mad if her daughter is around me and our kids. I know alot of moms get upset when their child spends time with the stepmom, but I am not going anywhere and I am the mother of her half-siblings, not to mention she has said she likes spending time with me...... I think she needs to get over it, I think it is HER fault for the way things are and she has nothing to complain about...

We instatnly started a relationship with her , I do not treat her badly when she is here, I actually think I treat her very well ( we talk, we watch movies, I help her with school work, I fix her hair, I let her help me cook, we went and got her and our younger kids pictures done together) ... But then the mom will find out I had the nerve to just take my kids to the park or zoo and throws a hissy about how we are being unfair...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on May. 1, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (17)
  • Tell her you like to spend time with your children too and everything doesn't have to involve her daughter all the time.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 11:26 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • – collapse
    "...take the stick out of her ass" ??? Okay,you just lost me there with that kind of talk. What the heck is happening to people? Can't anyone express their thoughts in a grown up, classy way anymore? Personally, the whole thing is a little too "Jerry Springer".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on May. 1, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • Yeah, she's a jealous witch. Too bad!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:32 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • hard to be classy when dealing with someone who does have a stick up their a$$
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:34 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • Your husband has built a family with you and your children. It would be unreasonable to think he would not have that connection anymore or that it would be put on a back burner because he suddenly has a surprise child that she has kept from him for nearly a decade. It sounds like this mom has no idea what she wants, other than maybe some child support since she won't allow the man who was the only dad this poor little girl knows to even see her since he won't pay for it.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:35 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • eye rollingLOL....what a funny question.

    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:36 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • It's a shame for the girl, there are so many things wrong with this situation. There's isn't much you can do except continue being a good SM & DH working on builkding a relationship with DD. Good Luck to you both.
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:43 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • that would be hard, I guess she might be jealous because she enjoys being with you guys also. I guess let her know that you do care about her and want her to be a part of your family as well. Maybe after time she will get the stick out of her a**. lol, but just continue what you are doing, you seem like a great Mom.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 11:49 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • You are doing a great job with helping your Step-Daughter adjust to her New Family- her mom needs to Grow-Up! (Anonymous- your kidding right?- b/c op said A$$ she needs to Grow-Up & has No Class about her?- if you feel that way about this post; i can't wait to to see your response on some of the other questions that are asked! LOL! there isn't anything " Jerry Springer " about this question- WOW..)

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 11:51 AM on May. 1, 2011

  • It was not that you entered into a relationship with a man who you knew had a child. Hell, he didn't know. Step parenting wasn't really in the picture when you created your family. Good for both of you in accepting and making a connection with this specific child. But all men have an obligation to support their children emotionally and financially - from birth or even nine years later. Now it is time for dad to establish the "rules" of this relationship with this other woman. I would encourage my husband to have set visitations and to have it done through family court. Set amount of child support through the family court. And I would encourage my husband to reach out to the man who raised my step daughter. Even to invite ongoing contact. It is heart breaking for him and for her to end their strong attatchment because mom was wrong. He doesn't have to pay support...but he can still be there for this girl. And
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:54 AM on May. 1, 2011

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