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Another Question for the Research on Motherhood

Can you describe your transition into motherhood?Was it an easy process for you to become a mother or was it difficult?Were you a "natural mother" or did it take some time to get used to?Did you expectations of becoming a mother differ from the actual experience?

Would love to know your experiences?Please write more than one line (if you can ) :-D x

Answer Question
 
ashleysprincess

Asked by ashleysprincess at 12:35 PM on May. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (65 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • It was a fairly easy transition for me. I grew up with 3 sisters, I babysat, and once in college I worked at a daycare and nannied for my twin nephews. I also majored in elementary education and early childhood education. Dh and I got pregnant very early in our marriage, not something we planned. But for me it was very natural. :)
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 12:40 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • My baby and I were separated for the initial few months (I was in the ICU, no babies allowed to visit) and upon returning home I was very medicated and could not hold him without help/supervision and could not baby wear due to IV pole .... but it still came naturally. We could smell each other, look at one another, I'd sing to him from the phone, whatever need be.

    Baby #2 I over compensated by co sleeping, not letting other people hold her much, etc. I was a natural mother but overly sensitive and a worrier.... many a phone call to the dr at 3am for normal/natural baby things. I like to check and double check. Normal NEUROTIC mother I suppose.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 12:41 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • i think a lot of circumstances go into how a person will react when joining Motherhood. was her pregnancy a shock, did she have support from the father and her family, was the pregnancy difficult, was the birth difficult, etc. for me (the first time) i was 19, it was unplanned, and the father was a controlling, manipulative verbally abusive person. we split up when i was around 5 months, and luckily my parents were very supportive and let me move in with them. i was excited about becoming a mom, nonetheless. but when she was born, she was taken to the NICU before i had a chance to bond. the first few months at home were hard, i didn't feel much of a connection to her and i was depressed and anxious. plus my ex was constantly harassing/threatening. the process was difficult at first, but now she's about to turn 5 and things are much different (better). she is my oldest baby girl!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:41 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I became a single mother at 19 years old. Spending my entire pregnancy as a single woman allowed me to bond with my son in a way I've not duplicated with my other kids. It was a very natural, effortless transition.

    I just had another baby last year at 36. My older kids (17 & 15) have lived with their dad for a few years. In effect, this was a brand new transition to motherhood. I had a few more bumps than I did at 19, but it's a completely different, more mature & emotional transition.

    Having raised a kid up thru 18 years now, I've learned that the only expectations a mother should have is that there is no "normal". And never say never!
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 12:42 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • @hibbing i had the same reaction when baby#2 and #3 were born because of the first experience. i did not leave their sight in the hospital (because they took my first away for a bath and that was when she ended up in the NICU), i constantly checked they were breathing okay because my oldest sounded like a freight train when she was a baby. i was (and still am) a worrier and very protective of all of them.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:43 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I think my pregnancy is what helped me come to terms with becoming a mother. I was only 17 and turned 18 a month before having my first baby. I had no siblings, never had babysat or experience with younger kids. It just came naturally for me. Yes motherhood is all I expected and more. Sure it is hard sometimes but I think you have to have a sense of humor, and realize you are giving up your life for your childs well being and you are helping form the future. All kids grow up and what we teach them at home is what ultimately becomes our world when we are older.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:44 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Wow Amazing responses from all the mommies, so interesting how everyone has had such different experiences
    ashleysprincess

    Comment by ashleysprincess (original poster) at 12:48 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • It actually did come quite naturally. Before becoming a mother, I had never been very patient, and I was kinda selfish with my time. Once my son was born, patience and selflessness came with him. I guess the love I had for him changed me for the better. Sure, there was and are difficult times, but overall, it hasn't been nearly as hard of a transition as I expected. I think the key to it all is love. You just love your child so much that you deal with anything and everything.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:52 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • When I got pregnant I started reading everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy, child birth, breast feeding, etc. Then I had my daughter and was kind of shocked. I mean I knew I was having a baby, but the reality that I HAD A BABY set in when I first held her. I wanted to do everything right and I suppose I was a bit of an overprotective mom at first, but we settled in and it all flowed naturally. My second son was born with birth defects and I once again became over protective....I spent his first 3 years on pins and needles. The third child was such a natural experience for me. He was physically healthy and happy and by that time I had lots of confidence in my mothering skills. I think I enjoyed him more because I was so relaxed I could stop and appreciate all the little things without all the unnecessary worrying of my first two kids.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 12:54 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I was 24, and wanted so badly to be a Mom. It was the happiest day of my life when our first son was born. He was with me in the room at the hospital, I nursed him for a year, and was very protective. He was the best baby, slept all night by 6 months, but I really didn't mind getting up with him at night. I have fond memories of him waking and I would go in and we would curl up in our big poofy chair and he would nurse, and we would both fall asleep. When #2 and #3 came along our eldest was 6 yrs old so it was like starting all over, and I was happy about having another child, but my life wasn't where I wanted it to be. My Mom had just passed 2 yrs before, and my family was all different directions. But I made the best of it.... The one thing I have stood strong on was raising my boys. I didn't want them to be daycare kids. I wanted to see every milestone, because I know one day they will be gone. I'm grateful to be a SAHM.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:02 PM on May. 1, 2011

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