Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I buy them presents?

My SIL (DH's sister) recently moved in with her long-time boyfriend, who has a boy about 10 years old (I think). They live in another state, we havent' seen them in almost 3 years, and we have only met this little boy once.

I'm getting ready to buy Christmas presents for my neices and the thought crossed my mind... Should I buy him a present too? Like I said, we only met him once 3 years ago. My SIL and his dad aren't married so he's not really even a step-nephew to us yet. And I don't have the slightest idea what he's even into.

On another note... my sister got married this summer and her husband has 4 kids. We've met 2 of them, but don't know them very well either since he doesn't have custody of them. I plan on getting the two boys we've met presents. Would it be wrong to not do anything for the other 2 that we have never met?

Answer Question

Asked by Silvertears1275 at 7:34 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Holidays

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Honestly, I kind of feel that yes, it is wrong not to buy for all the kids. But, it's also kind of hard to say. I mean, they may not even notice. On the other hand, if they notice, they may feel left out and hurt, and I don't think that's your intention. Personally, I'd just maybe get all the ones you don't know just something small, rather inexpensive. For the one with 4 kids that you've only met 2, maybe get a group gift for all 4.
    I realize money is tight for everyone this yr, but when it comes to kids, you have to be real careful about saying "well, I don't know you so I'm not going to buy for you." I know you're not going to say that to them, but it's what you're wanting to do, and kids tend to take that kind of stuff pretty personal, where adults are (supposed to be) mature enough to realize that you set priorities and did what was necessary.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:49 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • You're not "obligated to" buy for them, but I think that  the fact that you've never met the other two and the other only once shouldn't matter because they are part of your sister and DH's life. I would try to find out some of the things they like and if you can't ,an inexpensive (maybe $15) gift card to Toys R Us or Walmart, $10 to McDonalds would be a nice choice. JMO.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 7:50 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • You cannot buy two kids in one family presents and not the other two. That is cruel and grinch-y. The gift card idea is great - kids love those things.

    If you're not close to your SIL, I would think a loving note and a gift card for her + include the child's name is nice. That way they can do something together.

    Don't be a grinch!


    Answer by Wimsey at 8:14 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I would like to clarify so I don't look like a big meanie by not wanting to include two of my sister's step kids that they all have different mothers and don't live together. One of these children my sister hasn't even met. I'm not trying to be stingy.

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 9:16 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • As far as the family w/ 4 kids if your buying gifts for one you buy for all. As far as the other one w/ only 1 child I'd do a family gift card.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Gotcha..............................

    You are not grinchy! You are logical! I still think that kids talk or grownups do at least and it should "all or none" kind of thing.


    Answer by Wimsey at 2:55 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.