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First time pregnancy; husband wants abortion

I am 19 & he is 21. We just recently found out we're expecting. He has always wanted kids, and due to my past medical female problems I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids. So although I didn't plan on trying for a baby this soon in my life, I am terrified at the thought of aborting this baby. I'm Lready growing attached and I want it so much. I have been crying since he told me he doesn't think we should have this baby right now. I can't stop crying & thinking how much I'm going to regret it :( I don't know what to do

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Lovesjoshthomas

Asked by Lovesjoshthomas at 1:04 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Nobody can answer that question but you :( I would just encourage open and honest communication with your husband.

    I was a single mom at 19, with no support system beyond myself. That baby will be 18 years old this fall. We made it. Wasn't always easy, but goddamn was it fun. I wouldn't trade him for the world.
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 1:07 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • if he gets deployed will you be alone or will you be staying with family? It might be harder if you are alone but look at how many single moms do it out their. I think it would be a challenge but you can do it. Its a really hard decision but u do not want to regret your decision after.
    roxy0522

    Answer by roxy0522 at 1:09 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I was dating my boyfriend for less than 3 months when I got pregnant. I seriously considered getting an abortion and not telling anyone. BUT, my sense of fairness kicked in too strong and I HAD to tell my boyfriend, even though I was terrified he'd bail on me. That was early in 2003 and I still remember the look on his face when I told him; he looked like he'd been hit in the back of the head with a board.

    That boyfriend is now my husband. That baby is now 7 1/2 and has a sibling that is 4. I CAN'T see my life without them. There is a LOT of joy, laughter and happiness; in between the bickering and sibling rivalry.

    If you're not sure though, OWN each decision for a couple of weeks. Consider all the possibilities and down sides. The fact that you're so concerned for bringing another life into the world now tells me you'd be a GREAT Momma.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:18 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • look, this time of your life can be scarey even if he didnt have the possiblilty of deploying any time. with my first child i was a young 19 girl who was raising a lil girl on my own. and even before she was born i had at times second thoughts about what i was doing, if it was right to bring her into this mess her dad & i were in, or if i was strong enough to raise her without a partner. but with the help of family, friends,& even ppl from THIS website i was able to make it.my daughter is now 2 years old. I think back& yes the time alone with her was scarey,was worrisom,& at times disheartening but when she would look up at me&smile, or place her hand on my cheek,everything was worth it, all the nights alone all the crying{from both of us} i got to see this person learn,i got to see her experience life for the first time.& there is no other feeling in this world like that.he will make his time with her dont worry :) itll be ok
    bamamommy2009

    Answer by bamamommy2009 at 1:24 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I'm sure you can do it! A mom can handle a million times more than she ever imagined. Obviously it was in your cards so I would welcome baby! You never know why God is putting this baby in your life right now, I'd say just go with it!
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 3:52 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • You are married, have good insurance benefits through the military, and your DH is gainfully employed. I think you are overreacting due to the stress and hormones. You will be just fine. Plenty of people do fine with rockier situations.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 4:36 PM on May. 1, 2011

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