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What Would You Do?

Hypothetically speaking: You have been with your SO for almost 4 years, married for 9 months and have a two year old daughter. Things have been "rough" for a while and you have been arguing about the same things for over a year. You have worked on the things that your SO requested but he has yet to make any changes. You think divorcing is the best solution - here's the kicker - you are a stay at home mom who works about 10 hours a week and are currently trying to start up your own business. What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would agree a divorce is the right decision. Knowing you are concerned because of your situation with being a stay at home mom and starting up a business there are other alternatives like asking a family member to help or someone you trust who doesn't have such a busy schedule. You can also try balancing your time or making up a schedule routine so you can do both start up a business and take care of your child. I have to do a lot of this with my two-balance being a full-time stay at home mom and college student and sometimes it isn't easy and I do understand my marriage is also on the rocks and we are in a separation. He is a great guy and works full-time and helps out even though we are not together there also that option if you trust your child's dad.

    Answer by heartsicksiren at 3:36 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Depends on how unhappy u r, but if ur smart not only would u wait till your business takes off but also save some money. Also as hard as it is think about whats best for ur child too! How is leaving ur hubby going to effect ur child?

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 3:42 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • If my family lived in the same town, this wouldn't even be a discussion. However they live 30 minutes away so I would lose the job I currently have because it would be pointless to drive 30 minutes to work a 1 and a half to 2 hour shift. Also, it would make more sense if he moved out beings I would have our daughter more than him and right now we are in a two bedroom house. I'm trying to think of my daughter, and it would be in her best interest if she didn't move out.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:43 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I agree with Panzonsmom!

    Answer by mrs.keen at 3:44 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Right now our daughter is at the age where she doesn't realize when we aren't getting along and I don't want her to have memories of us fighting or not having a loving relationship. I would like to wait until my business takes off but I don't know when that will be so I'm scared things will get worse between us before we end it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:46 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • So I should just do what I have been thinking and wait til I have a steady income?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:56 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • What about staying and working on the marriage? Nine months is not enough time to learn how to get along and make decisions that are best for the family. And there is no law that says you have to argue. Every married couple has areas of disagreement, but you do not have to fight about what you don't agree on. There's not a lot of information to go on here, but it sounds like 2 very selfish people who have not yet learned the art of give and take. It's not about "I" and "me"; it's about "we" and it takes a very long time to get the hang of that. My husband and I have been married for more than 46 years, and if we'd given up nine months in, we would have missed out on a lot of happiness, not to mention the privilege of growing old together. Find yourselves some good books on marriage or an older couple whose been through the adjustments, and hang in there and make a life together. Don't give up so easily!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:09 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • @Nanny - we have been living together since we started dating so we know how each other functions. Just because we are married that doesn't mean anything changed. I think the biggest thing was having our two year old so there for its only been two years that we have figured out how each other works.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:44 PM on May. 1, 2011