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My mother tells my grand daughter that I lie to her

My grand daughter is 10.
When she was 2 1/2 she came to live with me while my daughter and her husband were deployed and while they completed special training for the military. At that time my mother lived next door and would let my grand daughter visit from time to time for a few minutes... long enough to stuff her with junk food, then she'd send her home.
My mother was rather proud to say that she will not baby sit her grandkids because she feels she has paid her dues by raising her own kids. That is until her siblings had grand children and they began to show them off and baby sit them. She never offered to watch any kid except my brothers and only because he was her favorite until she was confronted by her siblings for not being nice to her grand kids. Her siblings mean the world to her and their opinion is very important to her.
Now she tells my grand daughter that she took care of her when her parents were gone and not me.
My grand daughter asked me about that and I told her that I took care of her. She told me a few days later my mother told her I lie about things to make myself look better.
My grand daughter believe me because she can remember some of the time she was here and it was always with me and not my mother.
She's asked me why my mother lies and then calls me a liar.
I don't know what to tell her except the truth about my mother. Confronting my mother does not help, she will look me in the eye and claim what she says is the truth and that everyone else is a liar. She's famous for rewriting history.
Still, I want my grand daughter to understand that even a simple lie is unacceptable and sometimes even the people we love most tell lies.
I'm just at loss as to what to really do. What do I tell my grand daughter?


Asked by CallMeAngie at 3:25 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,297 Credits)
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Answers (4)
  • I would be honest in a loving nonjudgmental way. Explain that your mom is who she is, you can't change her. But you just need to take what she says with a grain of salt.


    Answer by Lynette at 3:34 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • she will put it all together dont worry too much ..just make sure you let your grand daughter know sometimes people tell lie's and its not good and if she remembers u caring for her and knows the other grandma is lieing i think she has it figured out just keep doing a great job!!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 10:23 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Ah Mom... what can I say Sis. Summer is ten and she is at the point where she can begin putting all this together for herself. Just you continue to be you, and let Mom be mom. Summer is already beginning to draw her own conclusions, she knows who is telling the truth and who is trying to rewrite history.

    Answer by pinwheel at 3:54 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • It sounds like your grand daughter already knows the truth so unless she brings it up I would just drop it. If she does ask though just be calm and and answer truthfully. Try to be positive and tell her about the treats she would give her. Honesty is the best policy.

    Answer by SueAnd2 at 12:22 PM on May. 2, 2011

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