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Having Issues.

My 14 year old twins were so attached to each other. Now, my daughter Shannon, has started getting boyfriends and hanging out with friends more then she use to. She tries to invite her sister Cayenne to come, but Cayenne doesnt feel like she fits in!

So, last night, they got in this huge fight about who is better, and blah blah blah!
Now Cayenne has practically locked herself in her room, wont eat, wont sleep, wont bathe!

I cant get her out, and the only thing I can hear is the television and sometimes her crying!

I want to help her! I feel like Im not doing my job. Shannon says she didnt mean to take it THAT far, and I know she is upset by this too!
Is there anything I CAN do?

Answer Question
 
Iloveyou999

Asked by Iloveyou999 at 3:37 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Does Cayenne have any friends of her own? If so maybe encourage her to do things with her friends when Shannon is out with her friends. It might also be a good idea to enroll Cayenne in some type of sport or activity-- that way she can develop her own interests and be her own person separate from Shannon, and also make some new friends. Another thought-- since Cayenne feels left out and is not spending as much time with Shannon could you talk to Shannon and see if she can set aside specific days/times to be with Cayenne and have them do things together or hang out together? Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:45 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • its really all about one twin trying her independence. wanting to explore other things.... I think its great that she wants Cay to come too. She sounds like she wants to explore new things with her sister. It doesnt mean that Shan doesnt love sis. I think its just the teen stage. I see where Cay may feel like she is losing sis to others but if she would try it, she might find out that they can have fun as a group rather than a twosome. good luck
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 4:22 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I agree with both of the answers above me. As for if there's anything you can do....well, my sons are only 10 & 7, but I've already found that there are some things that I just have to stay out of and let them solve between themselves, as much as it pains me to have to do that. Not only because it teaches them independence and problem solving skills, but also because sometimes Mom really just can't help. If you really do want to try to help, though, you could ask each of them if they'd like you to help, and if so, what they think you could do to help.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:04 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • i agree with above..good luck to you and your family...it will all work out
    gracelessstar21

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 10:19 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • She needs to eat and bathe which are the basic necessities. Sometimes these things can be resolved amongst the kids but maybe she has more issues as well? Maybe you can have a family meeting?
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 2:50 PM on May. 2, 2011

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