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support please

This is my third and last child (4mths) my others are much older (16&21).
He was early and had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks (blood infection).
He is doing great, gaining and healthy Thank God.
My problem is that I have to go back to work soon and Im very sick over this to the point of losing sleep lots of anxiety and physically sick, I had to go back after the others and hated it but I dont remember it tearing me up so bad. All I do is try to figure a way that we can make it so that Idont have to work. I think I will make my self crazy with this. I need some support and some advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • Do what is best for your family! If you believe whole-heartedly that staying home is what you need to do....then do it! Work it out! God will make a way! If you don't have any other choice then you already know the answer. You'll have to be strong and go back. Or maybe just take a little more time off. Your baby was early so of course it's going to make you more worried and the fact that he/she was sick when he/she was born is going to make you worry that much more....Just be strong and take it one day at the time!

    Answer by love_my_boys at 9:06 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Hey there, are we twins? j/k. I had our last child 4 months ago, older kids are 14 and 7, and I dreaded going back to work also. DH and I sat down and tried to make his paycheck work enough to support all of us, but even w/out paying for daycare it simply wasn't enough to survive on (by about 800 / month.) So I went back to work and it hasn't been too bad, everyone keeps ooohhing over the baby's pics and wanting me to bring him up to the office on his day off. Also, if I'm dead tired because baby decided night time was a good time to party, no one gives me crap if i sleep in my truck at lunchtime... :-) I haven't found any work at home jobs that are legitimate or worthwhile but if I find one I'll post it here.

    Answer by plylerjones at 9:07 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I have two children, 3 1/2 yrs. apart. My daughter just turned one. As a first time mom, I felt extrememly guilty, I went back to work and started school within a week of each other. Was too much, i put school off for another semester. I was surprised I felt guilty with my daughter. She was going to the same daycare my son had been at for over 3 years. I dont know if it was because she is my last, she's still your baby, my daughter was full term but spent 10 days in NICU (birth mom had infection when she delivered so they put my daughter on antibiotics and she had 2 apnea episodes) or just worried about her health. you're a mom, yesterday, today and tomorrow. It's still hard to let someone else care for our babies.
    See if you can visit you child on your lunch hour, might make you feel better. I know it's hard but it will be ok as long as you are completely comfortable with the daycare.

    Answer by chuggerboysmom at 9:13 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • You have to think of what you will be able to provide your child with if you work vs what your child will have to do without if you don't. First rule is make sure you are 95% comfortable with your childcare. Why not 100%? Because it's not you, won't be you, and even you make mistakes. I have family childcare and still worry sometimes, but I am as comfortable with them as possible.

    I personally believe I cherish the time I have with my children more because I do work. I have SAH friends who are always pawning their kids off on others to do this or that. I have had a babysitter at the most 10 times in the past 4 years. Only for anniversaries and birthdays.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I also think there is a double standard for men and women when it comes to working. If a man were to say he was trying to figure out what his family could do without to make it without him working so he could stay home with a baby, he would be ridiculed. A mother who is considering doing the same even with two older children to support is offered support. In society today (especially facing an economic depression) it is more important than ever to have stable family income. If you have a job to take, you should take it. You don't know what the future holds.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • If you seriously don't want to go back to work, figure out your finances. Figure out if you can make it on one income, unless you are the only source of income. Figure out how much you actually bring home (minus gas, daycare, work clothes), then figure out how much you actually need for bills and such. See if subtracting any extras (cable, eating out, etc.) will make it so you can stay home.
    Good luck!

    Answer by dreaksgirl at 9:59 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Unless not going back to work is going to put you in the poorhouse's trash- I wouldn't worry about it until I felt better. Or I'd go part time...I had to quit work WHILE I was pregnant. Money is not everything although it helps. I always think "Those are just number and I can fix them later."
    Just remember that things change and when they do, you can change with them. It is NOT hard to find a job. People like to complain and say that it is- but it isn't. If you really need a job you'll hit up a fast food joint. Ya know?
    And by the way- I am a stay at home Momma and I think it's the best thing for my son. He's beyond developed because I have made my days revolve around teaching him and playing with him. I take some me time too but mostly I focus on him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • i have a 4 month old and i went back to work a month after having her it was horrible but i got help from my husband and mother inlaw which helped and ive benn going thru alot of stress with life but the best advice thats been helping me is just have faith ..things may be rough now but you will get thru it

    Answer by Haley040 at 10:19 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • If you would like to try and stay home and work, try a medical transcription job. Training can take 6-months to a year depending on how you are on a computer, but then you can work at home with your child and still make good money. My mom has done it for 10 years and loves it, and if I ever need her to watch the kids in an emergency she is home to do it. It costs 2000.00 for the whole course but you can pay it through payments every month.....I am thinking of doing it also just so I don't have to worry about day care costs....

    Answer by AlliMoore1986 at 10:26 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Thank you to all for your advice and opionions, this feels like one of the hardest choices I have ever made, I dont know what I will do but I want you to know Im greatful to have a job that has let me take the time off I have and I know some are in a worse position then Iam. Im blessed to have what I do. Thank you again

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

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