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Is your man a tightwad?

I am getting married to a really nice guy. We've both been married before so we like having our own bank accounts, etc. We split the bills down the middle-I give him a check for my half on the 1st of every month. The problem is, on the 1st of every month I go grocery shopping. I spend $300 easily on food for our family. Then, I would totally expect him to either spend the same amount when he gets paid on the 15th or reimburse me for half. When the 15th comes around we are usually out of food. I tell him "hey, you need to go buy food." sometimes he gets mad and he's like "don't tell me what to do." or sometimes he's like "oh, ok" and goes to get food. But he only spends like $150 MAX. I buy meats like for the crockpot, hamburger, pork chops, salads, veggies etc. and he buys frozen lasagna, frozen burritos, etc. How do I tell him that he needs to quit being a tightwad and pull his share because it's stressing me out and it is putting me in debt!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You're this stressed already and you aren't married yet? It won't get any better once you are married hun. IMHO (and it's one of the best things I have ever done) Pick a meat for each day of the week. For example: We do...Monday Chicken, Tuesday Hamburger, Wednesday Pasta or Breakfast for dinner, Thursday Beef (no burger), Friday Fish or Free day, Saturday Pizza, and Sunday Pork.....then I only have to worry about what type of potato and vegetable to do... it cuts back on the grocery bill (we spend about 300 a month and in some case not even that when we hit the meat sales)...Good Luck hun.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 4:21 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Write out a menu together. Then if he is doing the shopping, he has to follow that menu and list. And if your doing the shopping, it's easier.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 4:06 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • This is why when you get married everything becomes ours not yours and mine, you can both have your bank accounts with both of your names on it. When you take the big step, change everything into ours.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:32 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Make out a list together. Then stick to the list. My man isn't a tightwad.....but we sure have different ideas on which groceries we need.
    Shaken1976

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 4:18 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I think I would be finding a compromise in there somewhere. I think that it is crazy to spend $600 a month on food, but also think that it is crazy to spend $150 for junk instead of real food. Definitely come to an amount you can agree on and split it.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 5:05 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Why don't you agree on a budget, have a joint account and then when you get paid, each of you put half of the combined total of the budget into the joint account to pay the bills out of, shop for groceries, etc. (An even better way to do that is to take the total budget number, and each of you puts in an equal % of your pay rather than an equal $$ amount - it's more fair that way especially if your salaries aren't close).
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:35 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the budget idea for food shopping. make one & stick to it! Whoever is doing the grocery shopping, needs to make sure they get the other 1/2 of the grocery money from the one who isnt. easy solution & no arguments. if necessary, tell your SO the morning of the day BEFORE you plan to go shopping, that you need his 1/2 of the grocery money so he has no excuse as to why he doesnt have it when the time comes. If he doesnt have his 1/2 of the money when you're ready to go shopping, then dont go that day!! go only when he gives you his 1/2. If there's no food in the house for him to eat because you didnt have his share of the grocery money, tell him that's why there's no food. Bet ya next time he'll have his 1/2 of the cash!
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 10:48 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Oh yeah, I once did date a guy who was a real tightwad. I finally told him he was so cheap, that the presidents in his wallet had to wear sunglasses, so little did they see of the light of day.

    We didnt date long.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 10:51 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Give him a $150 on the 1st instead of the $300. That way he will be pulling his weight with the grocery bill. Seriously though if you cant agree on necessities are you ever going to agree on frivolous fun expenditures. Is this a life that you really want or need?  If it is go into it with your eyes wide opened and enjoy the financial security that he is establishing BUT if its not really what you want walk away- he is not likely to change.

    SueAnd2

    Answer by SueAnd2 at 12:13 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Shop at Target. Anyhow maybe you guys can split the grocery bill too? Seems like you spend on more fresh items as opposed to frozen stuff? But somehow you have to meet in the middle for things to work out.
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 2:46 PM on May. 2, 2011