Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

For moms who went from working to staying home, how did you feel about becoming financially dependent?

From the time I was 13 years old, I have always had at least one job. I just started my maternity leave with our 3rd child, and we decided that with 3 kids and me homeschooling, that I will be staying home for at least the next couple years.

I am just nervous about what it will be like to not have an income of my own. We have our joint accounts that I know I will be able to use freely, and of course I have contributed to our savings our entire life together, so I shouldn't feel awkward about taking out money. PLEASE don't get me wrong...he is not acting like he is going to be controlling with the money or anything. It is just me that feels really awkward about it.

How did you handle going down to one income? Did you feel the same way?

Answer Question

Asked by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 4:50 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 37 (93,457 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I feel the same way. I became a SAHM the 1st of jan. I can't explain the way I feel I am constantly watching every penny that I spend now. I know it is OUR money, but at the same time I feel like i am using his money. ykwim? Its going to take me sometime to get use to this, my mom always taught me to never depend on a man, so I still have that mentality.

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 4:56 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I know what you mean. Logically, I know that we will be fine on one income, I know that HE isn't pressuring me financially, but I still feel like it is my job to make sure giving up my income doesn't effect us too bad. Sigh. Guess it will just take a little time. I definitely want to enjoy this time though!

    Comment by Mom-2-3-Girlz (original poster) at 5:00 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • We okay financially too. But I always find myself cutting back where money is concerned. I use to get my hair done once a month and I stopped doing that and he asked me why. I told him that It didn't feel right doing spending money on myself when I am not working. He sat there and looked at me like I was crazy. lol

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 5:05 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I hated being dependent on my hubby and not having money of my own.... so I went out and found a part-time job that allowed me to work out of my house that way I had my own money coming in and I was able to be home with the kids. I was able to work my job around my family and do my work when my hubby was home to take over parenting and household duties.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • My husband and I have 4 kids, it was always cheaper for us if I stayed home so for the most part I have. I still have problems spending money on myself because there is always something that the kids need and of course they come first =) A little over 3 years ago I started a home based business and have done very well with it. I earn "my own" money so I don't feel as dependent on my husband or feel like a burden to him either. He was the same way though, he wanted me to stay home and fully supported me doing so. I just had a hard time having someone take care of me financially. My youngest will start school this fall and then I plan to focus more time on my business.


    Answer by how_reb at 5:30 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I feel you girl. I was the same way. My first job as a papergirl bought my first car! Now, for the first year ever I am at home.... and although I am in charge of the finances even though my hubby MAKES the money, it does terrify me for the fact if anything were to ever happen to him and just the fact I always had my OWN money! But I find it well worth it to be home with my daughter. More importantly though I worry about not contributing to a 401K!

    Answer by cailynsmommy626 at 5:42 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I have always been a stay at hm mom/wife since I was 20 yrs old and 5 months preg w r 1st baby. I was raised that the men wrk and the women stay at hm to raise the kids so im quit comfortable depending on my husbanf financially. Im actually the 1 who handles all the money and I tell him what to spend lol, of course we spend most if not all r money on r children. Maybe put a savings aside so you feal more comfortable, your husbands money is your money :)

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 5:50 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I am a stay at home mom. I am not financially dependent. My husband makes the money but I keep our life together. I keep our home clean, take care of our child, make meals, do all the shopping and laundry. I am also having another baby. It's our money

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:57 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I worked and when we got back together I thought it was scary not having a job and for the first couple years it was fine. After he started talking about me getting a job even when I had one he made it hard for me to keep it there was no winning maybe you will have it better then I did.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:30 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • SAHM WORK!!!!
    We just don't get paid!!!
    It is our money!!!

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 6:36 PM on May. 1, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.