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I really need advice....

So my ex was physically and emotionally abusive. He also has controll issues. We've been broken up for a few months and I got a protection order. He said he is so sorry and never will do it again. The only times we would fight was when we were drinking and we've realized that. We've stopped and things have seen to be getting better between us (we have to talk because of our child ). Do I give him another chance? He says he will do counseling but I don't know if I believe him. And honestly I have alot of anger towards him at the moment because he has hurt me so much. He also has to take DV classes. Please no bashing...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I have walk many miles in your shoes sugar. The day my youngest turns 18 will be the most glorious day. Me nor my children will never have to legally deal with a situation like what your in. In my own experience it never got better. The promises were there, for very short spurts of time so did the situation, only to fall into worse and worse situations. I understand not all are the same and some actually DO pull thru, but it takes lots of dedicated counseling. My suggestion is ... YOU, yourself get counseling, go to school/college, make a life for yourself and your baby. Make that your first and only priority. If he wants to straighten up then let him do so separate from you two. That way you know 1st - your safe and taken care of because your in control of that. 2nd-thats hes serious. Once you both are stable then re-evaluate your relationship. but NOt until then. My experience & my opinion. Good Luck Sweetie & God bless!
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 6:17 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • No, hun, stay away from this man he will only do it again, run in the opposite direction.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:51 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Do your own thing until he has finished counceling and then see if you guys want to be together. Othewise, run like hell!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 5:53 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Hell no!! You are lucky and smart to have go have gotten away from him in the first place. If he really knows and admits to having a problem, HE needs to seek therapy for HIMSELF, get his shit together, and PROVE he IS changed, not that he might.
    IMO do not go back. There are millions of peopple out there, and most are NOT abusive, drinking or not..
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:34 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • that's like my abusive husband always saying oh i will never hurt you again. a day or two later what the hell do you think he was doing. guys like that never change because they like the way they are, they don't care about anyone else but their own wants and desires.
    CEWarsop

    Answer by CEWarsop at 8:01 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Start counselling before discussing taking him back....also go see a counselor personally for you to help with the anger and see if you even should consider putting yourself back into a potentially dangerous relationship. Also think about your child and what kind of example you want to set or if you want to put your child in harms way.
    twogrneys

    Answer by twogrneys at 5:56 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I would suggest he go to counseling before you two talk. And then then intergrate some couples counseling if you feel his behavior has changed for the better and for good.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 6:05 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I just left my boyfriend of 4 years for the same reason, I don't believe that it wont happen again. They say there sorry but they end up doing it again, so if i were you i wouldn't give him another chance, he can still spend time with his child without being with you. Your worth more than that.
    mimi471

    Answer by mimi471 at 6:20 PM on May. 1, 2011

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