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Need advice ladies! Sorry so long!

Ok so my 12 yr old dd has bipolar and has bee put in hospital 3 times for med adjustment and she was suicidle. She has been unstable lately and i am so tired! She keeps me up half the night going off on a total monstrous tirade about anything or everything. So she didn't get her way bout something and has been insistent on wanting to move on with her bio dad whom she has never seen(his choice). I live in La he in TX. He has never made an attempt with my children. I left him because he cheated and he was abusive. He was arrested after we split for choking me and locking himself in the bathroom with my son(4 months at the time). I picked up my son from a visitation not long after that and he had a huge bruise on his back and i had to take him to dr to have it documented. Court put restraining order on him after all this because he said he would finish the job! anyway so i know people change but i mean really! He has never made an attempt but i am at my wits end! I know this is bipolar and much of this can't be helped but i am a single mom with 2 other special needs kids and i feel so defeated i dont know what to do!? Any advice ladies?


Asked by harris4 at 8:00 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • My son is bipolar and was young when diagnosed. His dad was also not involved. He also asked to live with dad. I said no. My advice is a group home. I know it seems harsh but looking back I wish I had done it. Now my sons over 18 so I cant force him to take his meds or get help he needs. I think if I had to do over again I would have forced the issue to insure he had a strong sense of what he needed to do. On top of it it is safer for you and your other child at home.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:30 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I'm sorry to hear that. My daughter was into the cutting thing and it was aweful. Just love her and love her. She sounds like she needs to get her meds adjusted?

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:02 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Do you have a case worker at at for services for your children? Even if you don't ask either the case worker or your pediatrician about respite care. It will give you a much needed break.

    I would also put in a call to your DD's doctor and have a serious talk about her medications. She might need to have them adjusted again.

    good luck!

    Answer by balagan_imma at 8:05 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Don't let her go until they get to know each other and you can trust him with her. If she is having that many problems she needs a parent that will be there to keep an eye on things because you don't want him to just let things go since you really do not know if he would take care of her the way you would.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 8:04 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • ok you said that you live in texas? my son is not bi-polar but has severe ADHD mood disorder and odd and they recommended a extended stay place right there in texas. They cover everything. it's in Spring hill if you want the info let me know and i will put it on here or send it privately. Good luck

    Answer by amberpaiz at 8:04 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I remeber those years when you feel like a prisoner in your own life. Unfortunately we can't change some of the hard times we face while raising children, however we can change how we get through it. Gratitude, love and humor are the keys to survivng with a little more ease. Make sure and laugh every day- it is healing. Life and children keep changing. As hard as it is you have to somewhat remove yourself from what you can't change. Do things for you during these days. No matter what you do, it will be a challenge for awhile, you deserve some special things just for you. Schedule a massage, get a scalp treatments or a weekend getaway. The demands the kids put on us during these times can be grueling. Watch your thoughts and keep redirecting them to gratitude. I know how much it hurts to want things different for our children. Just accept that right now it is this way and live each day like it's your last.

    Answer by LeJane at 9:00 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • As far as the bio dad. He doesn't deserve to have time with the children. Your daughter is responding normal to you setting rules and disciplining her. Let her know when she is 18 she can do as she wishes. Do not argue or gewt emotional with her. Just stay with the facts. Maybe you can find a relative or friend to help fill in on the dad role. Good luck and keep your chin up.

    Answer by LeJane at 9:04 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • for sure get her meds changed and although you have your hands full is there something "helpful" she could help you with??? maybe try to see that she is important to you and helps you more than she knows.
    I think she may being throwing the father card outthere to get you to fight with her. So i would either ignore it as much as u can or just let her know HE hasnt even called so why would she think ...oh gosh.... sorry, Just try to keep her from spinning....

    Answer by kkbird at 8:08 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • @amberpaiz he lives in texas i live in Louisiana. Thanks ladies i agree with all also i do wonder if maybe she does just wanna bother me by saying that but she has been very consistent in saying so.

    Comment by harris4 (original poster) at 8:12 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • is there another family member to help? a grandparent of hers? aunt? etc? that could take her for a day or two to give you both a breather?

    obviously i wouldnt let her go with her dad in that situation

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:53 PM on May. 1, 2011