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Forgiveness?

My mom is so nasty and has been since I was little and she told me when I was 25 when my son was very ill she wished I was dead and she always hated me. Now she wants me to forgive her and let it go? This is not the first time she is real nice for a while and then falls back on old behavior I will forgive her for me but I cannot be the only one whose mom is manipulative like this?

 
pinkdragon36

Asked by pinkdragon36 at 8:11 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 40 (117,668 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • forgiveness is one thing..you can forgive but you cannot forget the things that have been said or done to you from her..i think its great you want to forgive her that makes you such a good person but to let her back in your life i would deff not allow that..she has hurt you enough and its not fair..good luck to you god bless you and your family..
    gracelessstar21

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 10:14 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Forgiveness does NOT mean you have to put up with her cruelty. If you have, let her know that you've already forgiven her, but she is not allowed back into your life. Period.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 8:23 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • My mom was a phyco b*tch from hell. She was abusive both physically and verbally. I had gotten to the point where the nice days couldn't out weight the mean days. I hadn't seen or spoken to my mom in almost 10 years. The last time I did see her was only to sign papers about a month before she died. I said this to some else a couple of days ago. I should feel bad because she was my mom but I don't. Sometimes you need to cut the evil from your life, even if that evil is family.

    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 8:17 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • SHe wouldnt be back in my life again. or around my children. that is just a horrible nasty lady. Why put yourself and family back through this over and over again. Do u really need that kind of drama in your life???
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 8:20 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • that would be hard, i guess i am lucky and have never heard that from my Mom but i guess it can't hurt to try but i would be cautious and i wouldn't get too close at first. that way you will not get hurt anymore then you already have by the things she has done and said.

    hugs!!!
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 8:14 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • That's because she's trying to manipulate you some more. If you don't allow it, she can't do it. It took me way too long to figure out that I was better off without my moms poison. Once I did though.....I have made a great life for myself. I married a wonderful man, have 4 great boys,my own home, my own car, my own business.....all things that would have never been possible if I had let her negativity into my life. Most of all....I knew I would NEVER be like her. I knew what kind of person I wanted to and the kind of people I wanted to be around. She was neither.

    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 9:02 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • In no way does that make you childish, it makes you smart. How could she think you would ever even want to speak to her again, much less open your life and heart to her again?! My grandmother did this to my mom. She told her often that she wished she had never been born. My mother was her door mat until the day my grandmother died. I never understood why mom kept doing it, maybe she hoped that she would love her. I don't know that she ever did. Don't allow this to happen to you. I know I'm probably not who you want to hear from, but I wanted you to know there are others like your mom out there. I'm so sorry.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:26 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I will forgive because thats for me I just cannot have her back in my life and she says this makes me childish.
    pinkdragon36

    Comment by pinkdragon36 (original poster) at 8:27 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Thank you austinsmom I have forgiven her but she never changes and its taken me almost 15 years to realize it is what it is and she will never change. I was adopted and she hated me when she tried to give me back they were going to sue her for child support now I realize it, is what it is.
    pinkdragon36

    Comment by pinkdragon36 (original poster) at 9:46 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Has your mother been checked over by a doctor at all? I ask, because that kind of behavior could be a sign of a mental illness such a bi-polar disorder, or another mental disorder. That is certainly not normal behavior from a mother, & the fact that she has been this way for years, & goes back & forth from being mean to wanting you to forgive her, tells me she may have something more going on she should see a Dr. about.
    Mental illness can be a problem for years & years before it's diagnosed.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 10:19 PM on May. 1, 2011

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