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My DH and I have serious issues in our marriage no doubt, and no doubt they go beyond the problems typical couples have. One of our biggest issues is sex...or the lack there of.

My DH really could care less whether we have sex once a week or once in 3 weeks. It's now been close to 3 months since we've been intimate in any way and he doesn't seem to care either way.

I don't like feeling rejected by him in this way and when ever I say anything to him about it, he tries to reassure me he still wants me and so on...but I'm always in a bad mood which is a turn off to him, therefore he isn't in the mood. I've tried to explain to him why I'm in a bad mood all the time, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

The other night we got into an emotional argument about our relationship, our marriage, family and future together. Though his expression of emotion was subtle and mine, in true woman fashion was dramatic and extremely emotional we ended up becoming physically emotional. We didn't have sex but I did end up giving him oral (something, by the way I love doing). It was completely different this time however. We've been together nearly 10 years and never once has he recieved oral that way. Without being too too graphic, he ended up finishing in my mouth. Something tha has NEVER happened before, and as per him, something he didn't think he was capable of doing.

My DH, the not so sexual being he is initiated sex with me last night and as excited as I was by that, it just felt...different. He did things he has never done before (in 10 years) and it was just very unlike him. Even today he was "different" and way more sexual than usual.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining, but I'm really not. I'm just surprised I guess by all of this. I keep telling myself it's because he's excessively horny and just can't get enough. My only complaint is that things will go like this, hot and heavy for a few days and then go back to they way they were a few nights ago.

I don't know many 30 year old men that woud turn down sex as often as I'm handing it out. He doesn't have ED, I doubt he's having a physical affair (he's way too lazy and scheduled for that)...I don't know. I guess more than anything I just needed to talk it out.

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daina82

Asked by daina82 at 9:21 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (601 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • sounds like maybe you need to talk it out with him too. And if he is doing things differently maybe he is just trying to keep the spark? Sometimes you get into a "routine" and maybe he was just into trying something different. And the reason he was probably acting different the next day was b/c you responded to the previous night and it opened a new door to try something new and he's excited about it.
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 9:25 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • keep doing what you are doing. maybe after 10 years he felt like it was a bit routine. try scheduling a nice little weekend getaway to a hotel and see what happens. change of scenery helps. ps...just drive him to the hotel. don't tell him where you are going. you could pack a weekend bag for him. just get him in the car and drive. just the surprise factor will get his blood pumping..no pun intended..
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:26 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • A lot of couples go as long as you've described without being intimate. Emotionally fueled arguments leading to intense sexual encounters is not a rare thing either. Think about what caused this recent fire and passion, the good things about it, and try to keep that up.
    AmourSpork

    Answer by AmourSpork at 9:28 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Sure he is not getting it from some one else?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:43 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Perhaps your successful oral encounter the night before, has removed a confidence issue he may have been having about himself that you might not have known about. What you did (and he ended up doing that he never did before) may have reassured him of his masculinity & sexuality. Could be he was having some doubts about his sexual ability that you weren't aware of. Men are funny creatures, they keep that kind of thing hidden, due to pride. He no doubt surprized himself by his response to your oral lovemaking, & that has given him a renewed confidence & reassurance he needed to jump start his libido. Just remember it's a 2 way street in the lovemaking department; make sure he satisfies you too, & when he does, make sure you let him know it!
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 10:02 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Enjoy and embrace his new attitude! Suggest and try new things too! This could be the Renaissance of your relationship. Put the doubts aside, focus on love and trust. Most importantly have fun!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 9:20 AM on May. 2, 2011

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