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Does anyone else get mad when your money gets spent by a SO/spouse, and they didn't bother to ask, or just assumed it was okay?

My SO has gotten in the rotten habit of just thinking spending my money is okay.
We have household money, and then money I saved...the money I saved is for essentials, we are also planning on moving by fall so thats another area the money should be used, and just shouldn't be used for anything other than needs or emergencies at this point.

1st..he bought his brother a train ticket, spent another 40 for whatever else on his brother as well
2nd...WE have a business...I deal with all accounting, paper work, basically anything that involves putting a pen to paper. HE decides he needs to attire for this business, quote "I don't want to wear MY own clothes." wth lol that earned him a lecture on budgeting and how mney needs to not just be spent because you want to have the cleanest of style. urgh and not only that, how about if you think you are needing more clothing for the business end of things, why not just ask me if there is room in the budget? or if I could make room? sheesh

mini rant I know
anyone else experience the same thing....

**By the way...the business I am talkihng about was completely funded by yours truly so when I speak on budgets I mean budget cause it's on my dime.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on May. 1, 2011 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I would not deal well with that. I am VERY thankful that my partner of the last 14 years is a bit of a penny pincher and rarely turns down an opportunity to work side jobs on top of his regular work and managing our investments. It is SO important for young couples to save as much as possible, and the behavior you are describing from him goes against that mindset.

    I watched my sister go through the same thing with her husband...not managing a business, and not necessarily clothes...but with her behaving with financial sense, and having goals, while he pissed away the money every chance he could. It ended their marriage. In the end, she was unwilling to spend as much on his overdraft fees as she did on their mortgage when that means sacrificing vacations, retirement savings, their daughters' education funds, etc so he could buy a video game before payday. I would lay down the law before it ruins your financial future.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:55 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • My husband and I own a business that I began 11 years ago. We now both work the same hours, but I do all the quarterly paperwork, payroll, etc. We pay ourselves the same amount.

    Most goes into our joint/houshold account, but we each get our "own" money. I personally couldn't stand the thought of having to obtain permission before I could kick a few bucks over to a sibling...

    If you're not happy about how the money is set up, get yourself a personal account and put your money where he can't touch it. And do the same for him. It doesn't have to be a lot of money--even $50 per month.

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 10:30 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • thats the problem, the savings, the money he took, which is from my checking, and the money I alloted to the business is all in an account with my name.

    so the problem isn't that he kicked a few of OUR bucks he used my account. I wouldn't care is he used his personal money, but to use mine just erks me.

    I think it is because I have more money than him,. and the reason why I have more is because I stick to a plan. He sees the larger amount in my account and just is like, wth I'll use hers instead. smh

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:35 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • I am's hard. and we are a young couple, I make sure I am smart with money but he just ruins it, seems so ridiculous huh? thankx for the story though, I think I need to make sure he has no access to anythin until he starts meeting his deadlines that were set;

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:40 PM on May. 1, 2011

  • Any chance of getting a neutral party to talk to him? This could get worse as time goes on.

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 10:37 AM on May. 2, 2011

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