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Door mat?

when confronted with a request, question, or issue, do you just do or say what you have to or do you stand up for yourself?

i feel like the real question is: door mat or meany?

if you just lie there and take it you get no respect and if you fight it, you have issues and explaining to do.... right or wrong? Please help...

Answer Question
 
MomOfMonkeys811

Asked by MomOfMonkeys811 at 2:11 AM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (53 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I stand up for myself but I'm not rude or mean about it. For some reason though, if it's my mom I just let her talk because i don't want to get into a confrontation with her. I'm becoming more assertive when it comes to her though.
    Raccoon

    Answer by Raccoon at 2:16 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Haha!!! See I can't do it to ANYONE!!!! well all except my fiance..... LOL I can say anything to him but it seems like with anyone else I cower down and can't speak my mind!!! I drive myself insane!!!
    MomOfMonkeys811

    Comment by MomOfMonkeys811 (original poster) at 2:19 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Why not? is there something that scares you or makes you nervous?
    Raccoon

    Answer by Raccoon at 2:29 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I'm a doormat. I can't say no, I hate to dissapoint people.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 2:35 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I always worry about what people think.... I live in a small town where I was the talk of it. I got preg, got married, got divorced, got preg again, got dumped, and now, got engaged...... I think I'm supposed to do something drastic now to keep up my rep. lol
    I think its mainly that I've been hurt by what people have said about me that I won't say something mean to someone. If it could be taken badly, I wouldn't do it but at the end of the day I feel like a door mat and that I should have said something to defend myself or something. I don't want to be a b**** but I hate going to bed feeling like I've been walked all over...
    MomOfMonkeys811

    Comment by MomOfMonkeys811 (original poster) at 2:37 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I know what you mean. I used to be that way too. It was so difficult for me to say 'no' or to say something when I felt disrespected. I learned to stand up for myself after being taken advantage too many damn times lol. I guess one day I had enough or it pissed me off enough. I ended up removing a lot of people from my life, it was necessary. I'm not mean nowadays though, I'm still giving and helpful when my loved ones need it. I'm just not anyone's back-up plan anymore either :)
    Raccoon

    Answer by Raccoon at 2:56 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I find that when I'm having trouble with a question someone asks, I ask them to be more specific so I'm not jumping to conclusions. If they're asking me to do something that's against my moral code, I would decline and leave it at that. If they can't accept it, too bad, they can do it themselves. If they ask me to do something because they have overstretched themselves, I may pitch in ONCE, but not twice. You aren't a b!tC# for having your own morals or code and others should respect your for having your own boundaries. If they don't like it, too bad. As they say, no one can take advantage of you without your own consent, which is sad but true.
    Droyal14u

    Answer by Droyal14u at 4:01 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • If someone pushes my buttons a few times then the fangs come out! I give more chances then most people I know though so I guess I am alittle of both!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 5:13 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I guess I'm a bit of a doormat too- I do get mad and flip out once the load gets too heavy and then have to go back and apologize to the person I blew up on and explain that it wasn't their fault. lol
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:23 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Why do you feel the need to please everybody? You can't you know? It's not possible. Why do you care what all these people think of you? I know it's easier said than done, but let them talk! Be yourself! Often being a doormat/ enabler is taught by a parent. It's actually a survival skill. You have to look inside yourself and deal with the origins of this behavior to stop it. It helps to have professional help with that so I reccomend you work with a counselor or psychiatrist.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:41 AM on May. 2, 2011

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