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Meeting online....

If you met someone online and chatted with them, how long before you started questioning the relationship? Hypothetically, they're in an extended term overseas, like FOUR years. They call you whenever they can, at all odd hours of the day or night, never email, or send pictures but they tell you all that you want to hear; you're a wonderful person, I can't wait to be with you, yada yada yada. How much would you invest in this type of relationship? Just curious...

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Asked by Droyal14u at 3:54 AM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,793 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • eh, not sure. I met my husband online and we didnt meet in person until 2 weeks had passed but thats no way in any kind of comparison to 4 years. I would keep my options open. I dont see anything wrong with communicating with them and even keeping in touch but I wouldnt let myself go head over heals just because what they say to me sounds like exactly what I wanna hear. if you do keep in touch, make plans to meet up with them after the tour of duty is over. is this person in the same area as you, or way off? I was thinking maybe he might get to take leave at some point in time and you could meet then. I think the best advice I can give is follow your heart but be sensible and careful :)

    Answer by alandou at 4:05 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • From day ONE! But, I am also a very straight-forward; no-nonsense; tell it like it is type of woman. Before I invest my time, energy and most of all my feelings, I would need some type of proof of availability and location, including the persons full name (so I could Google them and if things became serious pay for a full credit report.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 4:11 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Well, I too met my husband online. We met face-to-face after just one week. The rest was history, lol.

    This guy though... I don't know. He seems a bit shady. I mean, come on. Ask him to at least send a picture. Something so you can feel a bit comfortable about this "mysterious man" you're getting emotionally involved with. Do you know his full name? Search him on Facebook. Everyone now has it, I'm sure you'll find something. I wonder why he isn't emailing though? Isn't it nice hearing someone tell you EVERYTHING you want to hear? It's nice... but it's not always true. Don't get emotionally attached yet... easier said than done, I know. Just be careful. Who knows, you could invest ALL this time and energy into this person and he may only have one eye and no eyebrows? I don't know...

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 5:02 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I guess I would question why he hasnt sent any photos etc or emailed........I guess it also depends on how long you have been talking, has he seen you?

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 6:15 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • At some point his command has to allow him to use his leave. He gets 30 days of leave a year. I find it hard to believe he can't come visit before his 4 years are up! I was active duty NAVY and even after a year at sea they gave us a few weeks off! If he's saying he can't afford the plane ticket he's full of it. He can take a HOP. That's where you show up at a military airport and hop on the next plane with an extra seat. It's around 20 bucks to do this! If I were you I'd insist on meeting him before taking the relationship seriously. If he still sticks to the same 'i'm stuck here for 4 years!' story than he's probobly a convict waiting for parole.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:28 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I wouldn't take it seriously at all. If he was serious he'd send pics and email, not just call and chat. Maybe he's scared that he's ugly and you'll hate how he looks? Who knows. Have you sent pics of yourself? Do you email him? I wouldn't get too invested in it. Sounds kinda iffy to me.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:39 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Just don't send him any money or checks. It could be a scam. Getting you softened up enough to then ask you for money because he wants to see you badly but can't afford it. If he asks you for money be aware.
    No pics? hmmm have you been able to call him a few times at the same phone number? He may be married and this is his way to get off.
    If this relationship has been a few months to a yr and over and you haven't seen him or are able to contact him when you want, I would move on to the next.
    red flags

    Answer by SnapIt at 12:31 PM on May. 2, 2011

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