Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help Me I don't know what to do?

I am a first time mom finishing up my last year of college. The father of my child and I had broken up but had sex one last time and guess what I got pregnant. After much thought I have decided to keep my baby. Luckily I have the support of my family. He has recently moved on to someone else and will not return my phone calls. I have told him numerous times that I do not want his sorry behind back that I just need to know basic information such as medical history, if he wants to be involved, etc. I have tried to be peaceful because I figured if we could atleast be cordial with one another it would be easier for the child but I am about to give up! What should I do? Thanks!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • maybe u are better off without him! get him for childsupport if he doesnt want anything to do with the baby when the baby is born!
    Juliannamommie

    Answer by Juliannamommie at 10:56 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I would call his paretns and ask. They would most likely kick his butt too and make him step up and be a dad.
    navy-wife

    Answer by navy-wife at 10:56 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • If he isn't answering your phone calls try a cordial letter. Open up with something close to what you said above: "I am not trying to have any kind of romantic relationship but I would like to know your family's medical history for the sake of this child". Then mention something at the end that leaves it open for him to have a relationship with the child if in the future he should decide that that's what he wants. Be clear but polite that you are NOT trying to restart things with him. Don't under estimate the power of snail mail. It's so rare to get a traditional letter in the age of email that he is very likely to stop and read it. Voicemail and email are too easy to ignore. Good luck and kudos for doing what's right by your baby. I'm sure you'll be a great mom and will love the blessings of motherhood!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:58 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • First of all Congrat's on being preggo and thank you for making the decision to keep the baby. That is a brave thing in your situation! It's good your family is helping you out but I think that you shouldn't give up on the father. To many kids grow up not knowing their father. If he doesn't want anything to do with the baby then that is his choice...but he still has an obligation to help out financially. So if he doesn't return your call...I would seek legal help and get him to court. You don't deserve to be treated like that and get the short end of the stick having to do this on your own financially.
    kristinashley24

    Answer by kristinashley24 at 10:58 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • it obvious he wants nothing to do with the baby so leave him alone get him for child support and move on this is your baby and he or she will make you the happiest person dont allow him to spoil the most one of the most important times in your life cause then it wont be as special as it should be
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 11:01 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • He probably thinks you are making it up and you are using the baby as a way to get to him and an excuse 2 talk 2 him. So screw it!
    File for child support and make him know you're serious. Maybe try to get the medical history from his mom or someone. But really you dont need it its just beneficial. If he wants to make it hard then ignore him and move on. He doesnt want to be a part of the babys life, dont get your hopes up by the way he's acting.
    You need to do it alllll by yourself so might as well start now. Dont expect a miracle, he will not suddenly change and step up. Im sorry, but congrats and Good luck!
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 11:32 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I like the snail mail letter idea. I think it would be hard to resist reading a letter, and even if he doesn't respond right away he might keep it and think about it. If you still get no response from him you might try a letter to his parents. He/they may never respond, but if you are cordial and undemanding he/they might. It may just take him/them some time to get used to the idea. It may really be different once the baby is born and you have pictures to send. Also, even if he wants nothing to do with the baby, his parents might. I'd definitely persue the parents if you think they are decent people that could have a positive impact on your child's life.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
I feel Useless!

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN