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How to deal with people who criticize others about how they take are of their children and aren't parents themselves.

I have a Sister In Law who all she does is criticize me on how I care for my child. How do you deal?

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staciepi

Asked by staciepi at 7:41 AM on May. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,019 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You thank her for her wonderful advice and tell her you are certain when she is a parent she can use those brilliant words of wisdom on her own children, but that you are using your own methods to raise your children. Then change the subject and ignore her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:42 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • You're going to find this all the time. It's best to avoid people who annoy you. With other parents, I've said that we tried that and it didn't work for us. Everyone one does things a bit differently (even husbands and wives). My thought is that so long as it's a safe thing to do, go for it.

    JSD24

    Answer by JSD24 at 7:45 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Agree with Zoe

    Does you SIL have children?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • she doesn't . She isn't married.
    staciepi

    Comment by staciepi (original poster) at 7:51 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I have a sister that is a ward of the state. She has cerebral palsy, but it's a mild case. She will probobly never have children of her own, but does alot of babysitting for spending money. She's an excellent babysitter, and I have no trepidation asking her to watch the little ones, but it's allways followed with unsolicited parenting advice. On one hand it definitely grates my nerves. I mean what the he'll does she know! But I smile and nodd. Why? 1- she's family, 2- she's mentally handicapped, and 3- it comes from a place in her heart that tenderly yearns to be a mother and most likely will never be fulfilled. I remember her situation when others offer me unsolicited advice and smile and nodd for them as well. Compassion and understanding is easier to live with than holding onto frustration and irritation.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:05 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I know its hard to but I would ignore her, you can be honest with her and let her know its not about what she likes or wants its your child and you are going to raise your child the way you want to, she needs to focus on her own life, I have a sister like that she has no kids but she studied psychology so I have to hear all her different diagnosis all the time and its annoying lol but I tell her to mind her business
    toybar02

    Answer by toybar02 at 8:29 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I have the same issue , My mother in law criticitze me and told me to how to raise my four old son ,She say to me how to feed , how to dress him and when she ask to make sure her grandson has bath befor he comes over ,what she was telling to sure my son clean
    would not be embarssed if they bump to there friends in town , I was flored !! I told her I am his mommy not you, your are just his grandma and I said if you are trying give me advice your critcize me i said thakyou for the advice but please do not tell me how to raise my son ! What i am trying to say is just tell her to keep her thoughts to herself and let you do the parenting , and remeber she thinks in heart she is helping you and thinks her advice and criticizeing you is ok to do becase she is family!
    pixximom

    Answer by pixximom at 8:39 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Smile and nod, while you're thinking in your head how dumb that advice is or whatever. Ignore. These two things are what I do, and I never stress about what someone like that says to me :)
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:45 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Tell her that you writing down all of her advice, to make a book to give her on the day she has a child! Give it some time,, what is the phrase, those who can't teach? LOL,,she had no idea what she is talking about, and if it is in a nasty way, I would address it, if just off the cuff, like I was reading about blah blah blah,,just ignore her,,no worries momma, just you wait until she has some of her own!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:33 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I'm not sure how to deal with one of those except to maybe remind them that they DON'T have kids. Everything is easier said than done especially from someone who doesn't have to do it
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 1:16 PM on May. 2, 2011

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