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2 Bumps

I don't want to be miserable anymore

When is enough, enough? I know many may bash or say I should stay with my dh cuz we have kids and I made a committment and so on. But I have tried, I have tried for years. The last 2 yrs I have realized a lot and I have been trying to get him to see how things he does are not always for the greater good of everyone. I have have people say well if he is not beating you? Okay, he is not.......but when he is irresponsible and when for the last 10 yrs I have been the one with the consistent income, when he yells and bitches constantly, when he belittles you and the kids, when he acts like I am suppose to jump when he says to jump without saying a word, and when he acts like the fact that I work full time, take college classes full times, raise our 3 kids, is a minimal contribution, yet he reaps the rewards of my work, cooking, etc. How much of that am I suppose to take? Not to mention that the sex with him is horrid.....which is not the reason I am miserable. I am miserable because he does a bang up job of belittling me and making me feel like crap in spite of all I do. How long am I expected to do this? Talking to him I have tried, I have learned to be calm , and counseling....that suggestion would be laugable at best to him, so it is not an option.

I basically don't know what to do. I don't want to be the bad guy, financially he has me strapped paying the bills so I have no extra money, and I don't want to hurt the kids but I just don't know how much longer I can deal with being miserable.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sweetie - no one can make a decision for you. If you're unhappy, then YOU have to find the courage to leave. I so wish I could hand it to you. I understand, trust me. I'm a single mom now and am happier than I've ever been. But that first step was gut-wrenchingly difficult.

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 9:38 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • hmmm maybe look into getting an apt. for a while just you and the kids and maybe you can save up some money that way im sooo sorry you have ot deal with that. I dont think you should stay.. you said you have been trying for years and from the sounds of it he is NOT you and your kids DONT deserve that. You are a GREAT STRONG women you can get sooo much better than him!!! (((HUGS)))

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 9:41 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I would skip the bills for the month, take the kids and get the hell out. I don't know anyone on this sit who would tell u to stay with him because he treats u like crap.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:41 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I can't imagine people bashing telling you to stay, I'm going the other way and bash you for staying this Get out and go find happiness!! The kids are hurting being in a relationship like this, not hurting because you want to leave! GO, you deserve to be happy, find help, find a way and go!

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 9:58 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • SleepyCupcake said it best...I felt the very same way and I'm glad I divorced my ex. I'm happier now, my son and he have a better relationship now than when my ex was home.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:42 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • He may not be physically abusing you, but he is mentally & that is a great cause for you to walk away.
    If you feel you have tried all your best you are the only one that can decide this decision. I think some woman rather stay in a relationship because they are using their husbands just for the money, house and things they know they can't get on their own. It's not worth it to stay if you are unhappy or even for the sake of the kids. Don't be surprised if he wants out himself but doesn't know how to tell you. No amount of money or religion should keep you from leaving to find your happiness, I can't imagine waking up & cringing knowing you don't want to be with the person you are waking up next to. That's no way to live. You stay to work it out and if you have done your all and no progress get out. No one can tell you to stay. I would question that persons relationship if they know you are unhappy & tells you to stay.

    Answer by SnapIt at 11:49 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • For me, life is too short to live like that. Belittling is abuse. Period. If he doesn't make you and your kids feel good then it's time to say goodbye. Sounds like he is more like another child than a partner. It hurts the kids more for them to live in a broken home....than be FROM a broken home. Trust me. It's ok. God bless you sweetie. Ask Him for direction. THe way I see it is, we try to run our own lives, and we run them off in the ditch. When we ask God to control our lives, HE does it right!

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:49 PM on May. 2, 2011