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Is it me or is it them? or maybe I'm not communicating effectively what is going on? adult content

I don't know if it's me or if it's just difficult to understand. No matter what I say no one understands what I'm dealing with, including dh. I don't know if I'm just communicating poorly or what.

Here's an example. My 3 yr old is temperamental and highly sprited and inquisitive child. The rule is your not allowed to play with the dvd player. (she has broken 2)

I just literally spent 2 hrs trying to get her to stop touching it. It is literally going something like this. She touches the dvd player, I tell her no, we don't touch the dvd player. I put her in time out for 3 minutes, then after time out I explained why we don't play with the dvd player. The second she is free she goes back to the dvd player. This is literal. I am not exaggerating. So I do the Same Exact thing over again. Tell her no, time out, talk to her, let her free and she runs back to the dvd player. We did this for 2 hrs and the only reason she stopped was because we had to go somewhere.

She does this "game" with everything and we literally do this 100s of times a day. It's exhausting and leaving little time for anything else.

My dh keeps telling me I must be doing something wrong. He tells me all I have to do is tell her no and put her in time out and she won't do it any more. But that isn't working. (see above)

I am being consistent. I am not letting them get away with it. How do I make them understand? Is it me or them? What should I do differently and how do I get dh to understand?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe time out isn't the way to go. It doesn't seem to be effecting her. Try another method like taking a favorite toy away or something. Don't over exhaust yourself. She seems to be maybe get her mind off it by doing another activity or something.

    Answer by Keeely07 at 10:59 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • She is testing her boundaries....stand your ground, sounds like you have a real smart kid on your hands.

    The time outs aren't working. I would put the DVD player away & take it out when out need it. I'm sure she has something that is a favorite of hers that you can confiscate. That might speak louder to her if her favorite thing in the whole world is put away because she did not listen. Try different techniques, all kids respond to things differently. While time outs might work for one child, they might not work for the next.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:00 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • You know, you should start saying no a different way. You know how when you want the cat to stop clawing the furniture, you squirt li'l Mittens with water? Maybe you should try that? Keep a squirt bottle out and douse her when she's touching it. In fact, I think I'm going to start trying that with my 1 year old.

    Answer by SleepyCupcake at 11:01 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • just a few suggestions,
    pop her butt
    maybe put the dvd player higher?
    we have a spray bottle that we use for the boys(its the only thing they seem to respond to)when they do NONOS

    Answer by sexcimomof2 at 11:07 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Keep at it and "eventually" she'll decide she's ready to listen or move the DVD - which only solves the problem til she finds something else inappropriate to play with.

    Is she acting upset when you put her in time out or does she act like she doesn't care it will be over in a few mins? My little tasmanian devil is also three but she gets very upset when put in time out; I make her sit there til she's done crying. THEN and only then after she's calmed down will we talk about it.

    But I don't just tell her; I make her tell me. Why are you in time out? Why don't we touch the DVD player? And what happens if it is broken? Maybe talk about not being able to watch her favorite movie or something that makes it more personal to her.

    Mine also will do the same thing she should *know* is wrong over and over and then one day she'll just say oh ok's just their personality...they will be a challenge =)

    Good Luck

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 11:07 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • take her mind off the dvd player by giving her something else to do/play with. Tell her u need a big girls help in floding the laundry, or making a snack or dusting etc.. something she can do. ask her to color mommy a pic, or take her outside for awhile.

    If you are putting her in time out that many times and saying no, go with a distraction away from it, let her play with pots, pans, a box, laundry basket etc, something she cant tear up of course GL

    Answer by kkbird at 11:10 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Obviously the time outs aren't working. Try taking away other privileges, or even spanking.

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 11:15 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Your right, maybe I do need to try something new.

    What do I do about dh? It's driving me nuts that he doesn't understand what's going on and keeps suggesting I must not be doing anything.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:21 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Leave him home alone w/ her for a day and then when you come home ask him what he thinks you do all day? lol But really tell him fine; you show me - do it your way for a day and we'll see how it works out for you and if you're right; then I'll admit it; but if you have just as hard of a day as I do; then you have to be willing to *help* me from here on out.

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 11:52 AM on May. 2, 2011

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