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My sister dictating what COLOR of flowers my mom can put in her garden?! Seriously, the LAST straw!! Need LOTS of feedback for this one, ladies!! Caution, very long!

I'd better start in the beginning. 3 years ago my sister left her husband and brought their 3 kids to live with my parents for a while, until she could figure things out. They were BEYOND unbearable house guests, trashed the house my parents took many years to get the way they wanted it, and literally drove my parents (and 2 younger siblings still living at home) out of their own home. My sister decided to stay separated form her husband and they sold their house. They each got 50,000 for it. My sister moved into a HUGE apartment for 1200 a month, no utilities included, and thereby spent ALL 50,000 in less than three years, since she also refused to get a job. As my sister and her 3 kids were facing homelessness, my parents allowed her back into their home with many rules and regulations for how it was going to go. My sister agreed to pay the extra utility costs my parents would be facing and follow the rules.

That was over 5 months ago. She hasn't paid them one cent towards the TRIPLED bills. She hasn't gotten a job. She gets all her food for free with food stamps, and actually gets much more than she needs. She gets 600 a month in child support from her ex. Her kids attend public school for free and get free lunches. She is currently on the list to get into sec. 8 housing, but is nowhere near getting into it ( the list is so long, its probably 4-5 years before she will get it.)

Last weekend, my mom was planning her gardens for the year. This is a woman who EVERY single year had the most beautiful, well tended gardens in the entire neighborhood. She took great pride in how her gardens looked, and loved to tend them. She has two gardens in particular that she loves, with the flowers arranged around religious statues that mean a great deal to her and my father. Last year, my sister's kids pulled up and stomped on all the flowers in her gardens, and it killed my mom to see her gardens like that after many years of being so beautiful. She spoke to my sister again and again about it, and my sister never did anything to prevent her kids from ruining the gardens. This year, poor mom decided to get FAKE flowers for her precious gardens, and just leave all her other gardens untended, since the money was needed to pay the utility bills anyway. The thing that royally PISSED me off? When my mom told my sister that she was getting fake flowers for her gardens because there was no point in having real ones because of HER kids ( I honestly would have DIED if mom had had to say that about MY kids!!!) my sister said "Well make sure you don't get yellow, orange or purple. They really go for those. Even if I yelled at them every time, they'd still get at least one flower a day and then there wouldn't be any." I got so FREAKIN' pissed I wouldn't have known what to say. Poor mom didn't say anything, just went off to the store to buy her fake flowers. After she left I had to go home. I didn't feel right saying something when she hadn't. Now I feel like I should have said something, but I know that it would never have had any impact on my sister. She is so self-centered we gave up bringing her behavior to her notice back when she was a kid, and now she's 30, just because all it ever did was make her act like an unbearable BITCH for a few weeks, then go right back to acting the way she always did.

My parents couldn't let their grandchildren go into a homeless shelter, or they NEVER would have let her back in the house. I just want to cry when I think how hard it is for them living with her. Poor mom has been feeling sick lately, and we don't know why except she is so stressed out. Poor dad had cancer a few years ago and nearly died, and the bills are still there looming over them from the couple years he was incapacitated. They don't deserve this, but I don't know what to do to help them....We are making a living, raising a baby and pregnant with another, and don't even have money to spare to give my parents to help them out.

Please offer your words of wisdom.....And if you can, please send prayers to my poor parents for how hard this is on them...Their charity and kindness is only overlooked by my sister, who doesn't even acknowledge that they are doing anything for her....


Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Being the "matriarch" (bitch) in our family....I would buy REAL flowers for my mom and go plant them myself - then line the kids up and let them know if "ONE SINGLE FLOWER GETS DESTROYED BY HUMAN HANDS OR FEET YOU WILL ANSWER TO ME"

    Answer by brypmom at 11:19 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I like brypmom's idea- that's what would have been done in my grandparent's house had I or my little sister or brother been a destructive menace!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:36 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I have to agree, get your mom her flowers and let your sister's brats know they they are NOT allowed to mess with them.

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:53 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Your parents will get their reward in heaven, for the good things they do in this world. They have given all they can, and will never get it back. They will never get any peace. Those kids wouldn't go to a homeless shelter, she would find someone else to mooch off of.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:28 PM on May. 2, 2011