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3 Bumps

Need advice on horrible sister-Repost- LONG- Need more answers! Thanks!

I'd better start in the beginning. 3 years ago my sister left her husband and brought their 3 kids to live with my parents for a while, until she could figure things out. They were BEYOND unbearable house guests, trashed the house my parents took many years to get the way they wanted it, and literally drove my parents (and 2 younger siblings still living at home) out of their own home. My sister decided to stay separated form her husband and they sold their house. They each got 50,000 for it. My sister moved into a HUGE apartment for 1200 a month, no utilities included, and thereby spent ALL 50,000 in less than three years, since she also refused to get a job. As my sister and her 3 kids were facing homelessness, my parents allowed her back into their home with many rules and regulations for how it was going to go. My sister agreed to pay the extra utility costs my parents would be facing and follow the rules.

That was over 5 months ago. She hasn't paid them one cent towards the TRIPLED bills. She hasn't gotten a job. She gets all her food for free with food stamps, and actually gets much more than she needs. She gets 600 a month in child support from her ex. Her kids attend public school for free and get free lunches. She is currently on the list to get into sec. 8 housing, but is nowhere near getting into it ( the list is so long, its probably 4-5 years before she will get it.)

Last weekend, my mom was planning her gardens for the year. This is a woman who EVERY single year had the most beautiful, well tended gardens in the entire neighborhood. She took great pride in how her gardens looked, and loved to tend them. She has two gardens in particular that she loves, with the flowers arranged around religious statues that mean a great deal to her and my father. Last year, my sister's kids pulled up and stomped on all the flowers in her gardens, and it killed my mom to see her gardens like that after many years of being so beautiful. She spoke to my sister again and again about it, and my sister never did anything to prevent her kids from ruining the gardens. This year, poor mom decided to get FAKE flowers for her precious gardens, and just leave all her other gardens untended, since the money was needed to pay the utility bills anyway. The thing that royally PISSED me off? When my mom told my sister that she was getting fake flowers for her gardens because there was no point in having real ones because of HER kids ( I honestly would have DIED if mom had had to say that about MY kids!!!) my sister said "Well make sure you don't get yellow, orange or purple. They really go for those. Even if I yelled at them every time, they'd still get at least one flower a day and then there wouldn't be any." I got so FREAKIN' pissed I wouldn't have known what to say. Poor mom didn't say anything, just went off to the store to buy her fake flowers. After she left I had to go home. I didn't feel right saying something when she hadn't. Now I feel like I should have said something, but I know that it would never have had any impact on my sister. She is so self-centered we gave up bringing her behavior to her notice back when she was a kid, and now she's 30, just because all it ever did was make her act like an unbearable BITCH for a few weeks, then go right back to acting the way she always did.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Your parents need to kick her out.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 11:37 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • I think even though it makes you mad, your parents need to handle the situation.. I think it would be more affordable for them to rent a modest apartment for her and give her say 6 months to get on her feet, if not then CPS should become involved,,,,idk but your PARENTS must take control.

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:42 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Regardless of how she acts or what she does, she is still your sister and your parents' daughter. Family is really all you have. That being said- have any of you sat down and told her how much strain, and inconvenience she is placing on the family? Have you told her that her behavior is unacceptable? I know it sounds stupid but it sounds like your parents don't want to be the bad guys and want to treat her like my parents did my sister for so long- the "she's going to be her own person and we are going to love her because she is still our daughter".

    That's fine, BUT everyone in a family has the responsibility of making someone aware of how they are perceived, and how they respect others. Everyone needs to tell her to shape up.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:41 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Wow, I am sorry for you and your parents. She needs a good kick and your parents need to give her a time to be out. maybe your parents could get poWer of attorney or whatever it is called to have the legal rights to make money decisions for her life. They need to not worry about backlash and realize she is a lazy, inconsiderate person using them who needs to have her parental rights taken away !!

    Answer by LeJane at 11:44 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Your parents need to give your sis some tough love. Kick her out in a certain amount of time. She does get child support so there is no way she can't save up for housing. She can also try to find low income housing in her area. She is 30 and so she needs to act like it. Your parents already had to raise children and don't need to anymore. It's time for them to relax and enjoy the rest of their lifes without someone ruining things they worked so hard for. If all else fails your parents need to tell them to go stay elsewhere like one of your sisters friends house. I know its hard to kick someone out because I've had to do it. Your sister needs to learn how to grow up be an adult and take care of her children the right way.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 11:47 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • She needs to be KICKED OUT on Her A..That is CRAZY!!!!

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 11:41 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Yup kick her out, and cut her out of the family till she can act like a responsible adult. People like her DONT learn till they have to provide for themselves and learn the rules of society and life on their own.

    Answer by vbruno at 11:44 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • your parents need to kock her out, shes an adult with kid taht should be able to take care of herself and her kids. I am sur eyou rmom feels sorry for the kids but they not raised the right way. They can do whatever they want to do and so does your sister, what are they learning? Nothing. Hope thing will go better.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 11:47 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • They should kick her out. she can get in a homeless shelter which will porobably speed up her housing issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on May. 2, 2011

  • Sorry, but YOU can't do anything.. your parents have to be the ones to decide it all.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:55 AM on May. 2, 2011