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2 Bumps

Depressed..............................

Yesterday was my 34th birthday. I am in a now 8 year relationship and all I got from him was a text of Happy Birthday at midnight Sat eve. He is a very "keep to himself" guy and is not great or even good at "showing" his love. I am a very loving and emotional woman and wish he was. Should I be upset that he doesn't try harder? I wanted things to work out with us because I already have to ship one child off her to father (my ex husband) all the time and I don't want to have to do the same with my 3 year old son and his father. Not sure if I should try harder to make things work or just let him go. He doesn't have a job and won't help support him at all. But he still claims to love me and want things to work. I just don't know.

CLARIFICATION:   REGARDING MY DAUGHTER:  I ONLY MEAN THAT I HAVE SHARED PARENTING WITH HER FATHER NOT THAT I GAVE HIM CUSTODY.  I JUST DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH MY SONS DAD AND SHARE ONLY HALF OF MY SON'S LIFE AS I DO MY DAUGHTER'S NOW.

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dpriser

Asked by dpriser at 1:31 PM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • So you have been with this man for 8 years, you sent one child to live with her father and might have to do the same with your son? Ummm...... It sounds like you are picking him over your kids......I may be wrong.......
    I would cut him loose.....and get your daughter back!! There is a better man out there for you!! I promise!!
    Heather759501

    Answer by Heather759501 at 1:36 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I am stuck, the only diffrence is my man works hard, makes great money and is willing to do anything for me and my kids.

    I just feel trapped and dont' want my children to think it is ok to be with someone who does not want you to have friends, a social life, or who jumps to a conclusion every time you do anything. It is sad, I know he loves me to death but now I am starting to think is it us he loves or is he obsessed with me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • i think she means that her daughter goes to her dads house occasionally.

    have you said all of this to him?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:38 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Most men are like that. They don't see it in their head as I have to make things so thoughtful or romantic. They are simple creatures. What drew you to him in the first place? You don't want to break everything off with him and realize later on down the road that you made a mistake and he is already with someone else. If you feel that you two should break up then that is your decision. If you need a friend I'm here. Good Luck.
    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 1:38 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I really do love him. I just wish he would take more responsibility and get a job and work for us to actually have a future. I feel like it is all on my shoulders and I don't understand why he doesn't feel the need to help support his son. We have discussed this over and over again!
    dpriser

    Comment by dpriser (original poster) at 1:47 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • What advice would you give a friend that has been with a guy for eight years and doesn't feel the need to help support you or your child financially? Do you think that your child when he grows up would think that's a great father? Do you think maybe he's just giving you false hope? If I were in your shoes I'd probably let the relationship go for awhile. Maybe he'll see what he's missing or maybe not? Either way how much longer can you just be like this? i'm sorry I hope you can truly search your heart and mind for an answer.
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 1:55 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Is he a stay at home dad? Meaning instead of work does he provide day care for your son? Does he cook and or clean? If he does than work it out, and try to compromise. If not...
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 2:05 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • No he is NOT a stay at home dad. We have actually lived apart for 2 years now. My mom watches my son at my house while I work. He stays home and works out twice a day and watches tv the other time. Cook? LOL NO Clean? LOL NO
    dpriser

    Comment by dpriser (original poster) at 2:23 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • You seem like a sweet woman but Im gonna tell you the way it is...he's NEVER gonna change.He stays home & watches tv most of the time.He doesn't help support your child together & he sends you a text to say happy birthday?? You deserve so much better!! Dont settle for this guy..get the man of your dreams!! I'm serious.Drop this guy & make a life for yourself & your children & I promise when you least expect it a great guy will show up!
    robin2708

    Answer by robin2708 at 2:56 PM on May. 2, 2011

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