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If your man left you....

Would you be able to stand on your own?

My friend has been with her husband for about 8 years since she was 18 and she has 2 kids with him. He one day said that he was tired of her bullshit and her not treating him right (idk the whole story with that) and he said that he will pay for whatever the children need and he wants joint custody but she is cut off from his money. He said that he paid the house off and she can have it but she has to pay for her utilities and whatever else on her own.

My friend came over crying saying that she has never had a job, doesn't have any money and no education. I'm helping her through this but I can't help but feel bad for thinking how can she be so stupid as to not better herself and get an education or learn a trade. She has more than enough help with her kids and she was always financially stable.


I hope other women aren't relying solely on their signifigant other. What if he gets hurt or (God forbid) he gets killed. I might be biased because I did everything on my own and never had to rely on anyone.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • we dont need men to survive !
    PrissyT

    Answer by PrissyT at 1:47 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I have a degree and experience in the military. I have been a sahm mom though for 7 years now and it would be really hard for me if my husband and I were to divorce. Not too many places want to hire someone who has been out of the work force for the long. With that in mind my husband is in the military and if he were to ever get hurt he would still get a paycheck and if he were to die there is a large life insurance policy. I also have a policy but it is lower than his because it wouldn't hurt him as much financially if I were to die. I can't say that it would be easy though if he were to decide that he wanted out.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:48 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • let her know its not the terms he agrees to, its the term the courts agree to. if he wants to walk out and leave her just like that she needs to get a lawyer and make him pay for everything she wants, not what he wants!
    KiraStadnik

    Answer by KiraStadnik at 1:50 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Wow, that's a terrible situation for your friend to be in. If she has been a stay at home mom for her whole marriage she should have no problem getting the house, the kids, child and spousal support. I don't care what his issue with her is, you can't just leave your kids in that situation!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 1:51 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • SOme men would rather have that control over the female. Why would she need to "better" herself when she is a sahm??? ( his thinking) He gives her what she wants.

    She needs to call an attorney. ( she may quailfy for a free attorney now) But .. She has never had a job, and has taken care of him and the kids and married to him. SHE IS entitled to ALIMONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at least 6m-yr or until she gets to work or remarried and still even with her working it will be minimum wage so that will be a factor too.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 1:51 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • i have a degree in massage therapy. waiting on licenses to be effective but after that i am good to go! i have been a stay at home mom for about 7 yrs and 2 of them i spent in school because i just knew i needed to do more for myself
    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 1:53 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I could do it..........JUST FINE.................
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 1:53 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • She needs to go talk to a lawyer. This happened to my cousin, she married right after high school & decided to be a housewife. She had no education past her high school diploma. Her husband said she does not need to work, so she didn't. She was happy being the housewife & she thought they'd stay together forever...so she never worried about getting an education. she married the guy while he was still in med school. Not long after he began working, he left her. She went to a lawyer crying with no money, he helped her with the divorce & her husband had to pay for all of her lawyer fees. She also got alimony that she is STILL getting. It's not much, but it pays her bills. She also gets child support.

    With the right lawyer, she could rip him a new one & he would have to pay for it all. but, she has to toughen up & do it right...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:54 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Of course. He really needs ME more! I make more money than he does! :)
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 2:05 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • @hootie826 what work do you do?

    It's hard just having the rug pulled up from underneath you and your life. As soon as the lawyer is called and they start handling it she will start to gain confidence and stand on her own two feet which is something that is foreign to her at the moment.
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 3:18 PM on May. 2, 2011

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