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If your DH/SO had a lady friend

that you did not like for personal reasons, not just because she is a woman and you are afraid something might happen between them, but you did not like her for something she did to you or your family. Not only that but he slept with her in the past (before you met.) You asked him not to communicate with her anymore because of this. Then you find out he still is talking to her behind your back. Would you be pissed enough to call of your wedding over this? (my best friend is going through this and she is really hurt about it. I don't know what to tell her!)

Answer Question
 
nmmama09

Asked by nmmama09 at 1:53 PM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,466 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think she now knows he lied to her, and I would think about calling the wedding off, it would depend on what she had done to me,,but if he can't put her above everything else ,,,I would certainly postpone it.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:56 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • If she is questioning it then maybe he is not the right one for her.
    Friends or no friends, they had sex they shouldn't be talking, or hanging or being friends at all, sorry that is the way I feel.


    See we tend to know what the right thing to do is, but are afraid or looking for reasons why we shouldn't do it.

    Good luck,
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:56 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • i would be pissed and if there is no trust now dont think there will be after the wedding... maybe tell her to hold off on the wedding for a lil while...
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 1:56 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • If he couldn't let go of her, then yes....i would.

    Obviously he lies...that would be a huge issue for me. How will she know if he still talks to her or not? And obviously, if he can't keep from talking to her....he still has some kind of attachment to her. NOT OK if you're engaged...i would consider calling it off. I hate liars...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:58 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I would when you get married you put your wife/husband before yourself i would give up a friend that i slept with in the past why? because i love my dhmore than the friend. im not very demanding but i wouldnt like my dh to talk to any exs or friends with benefits it didnt work out for a reason so leave them in your past if you want me to be your future.

    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 2:00 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • When you are dating both parties are usually on their ABSOLUTE best behavior and bend over backwards trying to please the other person.... that is what courting is all about.


    IF there are problems during the courtship then there WILL be problems in the marriage.


    I think it is a VERY valid reason to call off the wedding.  1) she wants a man who will bow to her every silly insecurity... he is not the one.  2) He will be for ever miserable with such a childish jealous wife to have to please.


     

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Thanks for your input ladies! The other thing this woman did to my friends family? Slept with her aunt's boyfriend...while her aunt was asleep in the bedroom (or so they thought) she was on top of him on the living room couch. A classy lady, that one is.
    nmmama09

    Comment by nmmama09 (original poster) at 2:04 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • If he hide this from her still talking behind her back to this FRIEND...... then he will continue to do so. I WOULDNT MARRY HIM AT ALL. PLAIN & SIMPLE. If she does then thats one her cause she ALREADY knew he was doing this.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 2:31 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • LMBO... so I get a vote down for saying she is too jealous of a woman from his past AND THEN you add that this woman has slept with her aunts boyfriend...... nice timing.


    Based on the information ORIGINALLY given... I still contend that... IN GENERAL.... women who are too insecure to admit their men HAD a past are going to make their men miserable with thier insecurities UNLESS they find a wimp of a man who will kowtow to their every insecurity.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Nice try anon. I didn't vote you down. You're entitled to your opinion, just like other people are entitled to vote you down. Thank you for your input, but this wasn't a general question. It is situation specific. Don't fret, I'm still not going to vote you down!
    nmmama09

    Comment by nmmama09 (original poster) at 2:48 PM on May. 2, 2011

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