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Hello I haven't been on in a while but i have a question hoping for some advice

Well I have a 17 year old daughter who has been giving me some issuse since she was 14 and she is not been truthful with me I thought things between she and I were ok and lately she has been talking to an anonymos person that I dont want her around and she thinks I dont know but I do I moved about 4 mnths ago thinking that this person would stay away but the person is back in her life how can I get this person who is not a good influence away from my daughter

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on May. 2, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (20)
  • Is the person over 18?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Restraining order?
    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 4:38 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • sorry I am not sure you can, If she wants to see this person she is going to find a way no matter how far away you move. I would try talking to your daughter and if that doesn't work I would just be there when she needs you. When she is 18 you won't have any control over what she does and if you push her away now it might make things worse.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:39 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • hmm its hard when your dealing with teens me n my parents didn't get along n i moved out when i was 17. I would just try to teach her morals and lessons and that lying gets you know were because in less than a year she is going to be able to move out and there's nothing really that can be done at that point Good Luck Mommy!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I have a 17 yo son & we just went thru something similar when he started dating a girl his family didn't care for. I don't have much advice because girls & boys are very different but I do send my empathy!
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 4:47 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • The more you tell her you don't want her around this person the more she is going to want to be around them. I don't think there is anything you can do, she will be 18 and you won't have a say who her friends are. Just keep talking to her without pushing her away.
    tazdvl

    Answer by tazdvl at 9:26 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I would work on trying to strengthen your relationship with your daughter. My own teenage daughter often doesn't want to hear advice from me, so I have to talk to her in a calm, nonjudmental manner without lecturing her or forbidding her to do certain things. If the two of you have a strong relationship, she'll be less likely to lie to you and will hopefully come to realize that you have her best interests at heart. I wouldn't tell her that she can't hang out with the person because she'll likely rebel. However, I would try to keep her occupied with other things as much as you can. If she has any activites that she likes to do, find a way for her to do them. If she's really busy she won't have as much time in her life for undesirable people.
    cege

    Answer by cege at 11:54 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • If there are already issues AND she already knows you don't want her around this person, there is not a lot you can do. These last few years before adulthood can be so overwhelming. Can you sit down with her and try to explain to her your side and why you don't want her to be around this person. Like a real heart to heart kind of talk when neither of you are angry. Maybe if you are able to chat with her and explain your side, she will think about it and realize you are right, even if she does not listen right away. If you cannot do this, you may have to sit back and hope all you taught the last 17 years will ring in her head at some point. Good luck to you.

    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 6:42 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • That is a tough situation. I really don't know what the best advice is here, so I am just going to give you ((hugs))
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 11:43 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • I think the first thing you have to realize is she is almost grown and able to make her own decisions. I know your probably only wanting what is best for her and if she could only see that it would make it a whole of a lot more easier I'm sure. I'm 20 and being where she is only 3 years ago I could write forever but the main thing is just sitting down and talking with her. She needs to know where your coming from and the legitimate concerns you have about her being around this person.She will probably get offensive and think your just trying to run her life, but hopefully someday she can look back and realize you were just trying to do what was best for her. I look back a lot and all the tantrums I pulled on my parents for the same type of thing and boy am I glad they kept me away!! It's hard being 17 but your doing what is right!! Good luck!
    oliviahw

    Answer by oliviahw at 5:11 PM on May. 5, 2011

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