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Bad Habits

My girls are 12 yrs. old and lately I'm having a issue with them being junkie. There bedrooms at times looks like a tornado hit. I've tried giving them certain incentives to keep it clean but nothing seems to work.

Open to suggestions and ideas


Asked by kkgrls at 1:41 PM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Here are my thoughts on this and not many people will agree with me.
    As long as you are expecting your daughter to keep up in other areas (school, extra curricular activities, chores around the house, and listens to you) why can't she have that one space where she can just let go? Should she have to keep every aspect of her life perfect? I mean sometimes you just need a little space to be able to be messy in and let go. This is only if she keeps it to her room though, she still needs to help with other chores in the house. Of course this is just my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree with it. Also, there is a difference between messy and dirty in this situation. I don't mean they should be able to leave soda cans and plates in their room, it should be kept sanitary just doesn't have to be orderly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • The only way my mom could get me and my sister to get our room clean at that age was to tell us to get it clean, and if we didn't have SOMETHING done within a certain time frame, she would either spank us, or ground us.

    Answer by srhmldndo at 1:45 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • If we didn't do it when it was asked of us...we were grounded to the room until it was done. We could only leave to eat or use the bathroom.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 1:47 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • We cleaned the whole house every weekend, among other things it was our job to to do our rooms. Dust, sweep, change the sheets, everything. We weren't allowed to go anywhere, watch tv or talk on the phone until it was. We were also expected to keep it picked up during the week and if mom ever had to tell us to pick up something more than once she had this giant pillow case with a mouth sewn into it that "ate" our stuff and went into the attic until she felt like bringing it back lol.

    Answer by Slinkee at 1:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I really don't like to spank or whip them but at times I will. I have grounded indefinitely, which doesn't seem to really bother them because it's extremely cold now. All of their xtras have been halted(psp's, ipods, cell phones etc). For me grounding them is punishing myself as well. I don't mind the room being un-kept a little(it's not dirty just messy) but, can you imagine a tornado coming through only one room in your house and everything's on the floor.


    Answer by kkgrls at 1:55 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I'm going with the mom who posted and said maybe their space can just be their space for now. They are the ones who have to sleep in it. My 12 year old keeps a fairly neat room, but if friends are coming over, she wants it to be clean so she picks it might be a pile in her chair, but it's more neat. She isn't allowed to take any food or drinks in her room so that isn't an issue. I also will tell her, if you want me to vacuum your room, you need to pick it up. She must like her room vacuumed cause she never hassles me. I don't guess I have ever cleaned her room for her since she was like 5. If she wants clean clothes, bring them to the utility room, you want to show your friends a pig pen, well it's yours not mine. Hope this helps.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Tell them they can't go anywhere or have any friends over until they clean their room, that usually works

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:41 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I'd say you clean it or I will....and then say that you will read, look at and go through anything that you find including letters, diaries, etc. Nothing is off limits, and you reserve the right to throw anything you want into the trash can. Most 12 years olds highly value their privacy. See if that will motivate them at all.

    Answer by Kimebs at 3:37 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • My daughter is 13 and her room is always a mess. I make her clean it once a week, it probably stays clean for about hmm...3 days. But, she gets good grades, picked good friends, and is helpfull with her little brother and around the house, so, I don't push it too much.

    Answer by Ilovemy5joys at 1:01 AM on Dec. 8, 2008