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DD wants to move out?

My daughter is 17 years old. She has a 4 week old daughter named Maliyah. She has been searching for apartments and told me she wanted to move out. It hurts me, because I am her strongest shoulder. She still goes to school, and she doesnt work. How would she pay for daycare and things? I was very upset, and at some point in the convorsation I told her she'd by herself. That I wouldn't help her at all!

I regret what I said, and I apoligized. She still wants to move out. I just dont think its healthy for her and Maliyah at this point in time. Maybe Im wrong. What if it were your daughter or son?

Answer Question
 
Iloveyou999

Asked by Iloveyou999 at 9:13 PM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Does she have the means to pay her rent and buy groceries etc ? Because if she can, I'd say she should. It's not healthy for grown children to stay in their parents home indefinitely. You are her mom so your job is to encorage her to be independant and self-sufficient, even if it does hurt. And I know it does - my eldest has moved out and my heart is broken, but it is healthy and good. Try to be helpful, even if you feel upset, because she's growing up! It's normal and healthy for her to crave independance.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:17 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Keep in mind I have a daughter that age who is not happy with me, so this is not advice, but insight as a result of reflection and warmth brought about by other peoples kind words. Be warm, forgiving, and patient. Believe the best in her. Accept her decisions whatever they are, but continue to be as healthy of you as you possibly can. Own your part, but don't try and process the hurt at this time. That sounds very difficult. I said a prayer for all involved. Also, is there anyone who could help her make a budget and anticipate the reality of making that decision six months from now, 12 months?
    Alexis124

    Answer by Alexis124 at 9:24 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • If she does not work then it sounds like she needs to stay put. Give it another shot and explain why she needs to not move out just yet.
    ashes27165

    Answer by ashes27165 at 10:15 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • I am wondering how she will pay for an apt too, and all the incidentals. I can SAY I am going to buy a new car, but if I don't have the $ for a down-payment, monthly payments & insurance, then it's not gonna happen. Hopefully, your daughter will stay put until she can afford to have a place of her own. It's not cheap to live on your own!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 6:55 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • how is she going to pay for rent, utilties, food, clothing, baby stuff with no job. wow that is a nice fantasy to have, no money but yet wants to move out. i wish i could pay my mortgage with my looks.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:21 PM on May. 3, 2011

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