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What do you do when he's finished and you're not?

We have two girls, one will be 4 in January. Our youngest is nearly 17 months old. I've always been someone that follows my instincts. And right now I truly feel like I'm not finished having chidren. It doesn't feel right to stop, to never feel life inside of me again. I haven't told him yet because he's made it very clear that he doesn't want anymore children. So do I keep this to myself, just try to get over it? Or do I tell him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • you of course tell him and discuss your feelings with and and find out WHY he doesn't want more. And go from there

    Answer by krazyash023 at 1:56 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I thought this question was going elsewhere,!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • That is NOT the question I was expecting by your title lol. You need to talk him and come to some sort of agreement on what to do. I know how you feel, my hubby is 99% sure he's done at three now but he's 5 years older than me. I am just not ready to say at 26 that I will never have another baby. We're still sort of on the fence and have no clue what to do. Best of luck to you, hope things work out for you.

    Answer by Slinkee at 1:58 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • why is he the one to say that there will be no more babys

    Answer by LisaAnnPonce at 2:05 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Oh heaven's sakes give it talk like you have to get pregnant RIGHT NOW or you're gonna fall apart....time changes lots of things....enjoy your children right now, you can talk about more later...having 2 kids is a lot to get used to in a man's head.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Yes...but if she doesn't say something and he decides to go out and do something permanent thinking she's in agreement then there is no chance for down the road.

    Answer by Slinkee at 2:08 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • anon 11:06, I didn't feel as if my question made my desire to have another child seem all that urgent. To me, it's a serious issue---he's COMPLETELY against something that I am not. How does a couple meet in the middle in a situation like this? This concern of mine could apply to any topic--not just pregnancy. When one person in the couple is dead set against anything, how does the couple compromise???

    And Slinkee, you're right. He's been talking about one of us taking permanent measures to ensure that we have no more children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • LisaAnnPonce, honestly I can't answer that! I guess I see it as his call because if he refuses to have more kids, then I lose the "means" to reproduce.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Honestly it is a tough thing, clearly it's not something either of you are going to want to compromise on. I would suggest talking to him about how you feel and just asking that he not get snipped for a few more years until you are more comfortable with the idea. He may have well changed his mind by then if not at least you'll have a chance to discuss it again at a later date.

    Answer by Slinkee at 2:48 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

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