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MIL is driving me crazy !!!!

My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half... during most of the time we lived in an apt. ( it was a nice one) , but of course since we just had our first child, we have been looking for a home to buy.

We live in a small area and there is not that many houses to chose from, we have literally been looking for over a year.

Finally my FIL said we should take what was his mothers house ( so, my husbands grandma) .. at first I wasnt to sure for big reasons ( first off, his grandma died there !!!, second it is kind of small , and it looks like the 60's threw up) ... BUT we only had to pay $5,000 for it ( what he had left to pay on it ) and we could fix it up ( my husband is a handyman and I have an eye for decorating) ...

We agreed and I instantly started planning how to fix it... It honestly really just needed paint for now .

My husband took a few days off of work ( I am a sahm ) and we got to work... and I would like ot brag because it turned out very nice !

Then my MIL came to view it, she tried to act like she had no idea we were painting or doing anything other than cleaning ... she literally acted like she was having a heart attack because we had the audacity to paint over the " beautiful wood paneling" , and change the " vintage light fixtures".

I have always tried to get along with my MIL ( if you can picture the MIl off of Everybody Love ray - Marie doesnt even compare to my MIL !) , but she always does this stuff and it bugs me so much.

She even said she just doesnt know if she can handle us living there and "destroying the charm" .

Now I am someone who likes vintage things, I would love to live in a big old vintage house, but wood paneling doesnt scream vintage charm to me... old rusty fixutes that look like they could fall at any minute doesnt scream vintage charm either.

I would love to just put her in her place and say " listen lady we bought this house, it is ours to do as we want, please stop trying to cause trouble "...

My Fil even talked about how much he liked what we done and how nice it is... and it was HIS mom who lived there, he didnt care that we changed the stuff, I dont think MIL should either!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on May. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I would just let her go, keep doing what you're doing, and eventually she'll get over it. Congrats on the new house!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:20 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • sorry o hear that. But she needs to understand that it is your house now. I'd say just let it pass whatever she says. Whats you husband saying about it?

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 10:20 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Congratulations on your new home!

    From what you have described, it sounds like you have made some very nice improvements. Considering that the house belonged to your FIL's mother, and he likes the changes, I think you should ignore your MIL's comments. Even if he didn't like it, it's yours now, and it would be just awful to buy a house, but still not feel like you could make it YOUR home.

    Anyway, based on your MIL's behavior, my guess is that she doesn't like not being the center of attention, or she's feeling some amount of jealousy that you and your DH have put the effort into making your home look nice and updated. Would I be wrong in guessing that your MIL's house is a decade or two out of date?

    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 10:32 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Some people just do not like changes. Ignore her comments. It's YOUR house,not her's.

    BTW, I bought a house that the realtor called "Old Lady Ugly". It was also trapped in a time warp. You should have heard some of the comments my mother made about the changes we made. Some people like to be difficult.

    Enjoy YOUR house!

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:43 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Grandmas or not, once someone moves into a home, that home becomes their own. I could kind of understand if you moved in and trashed the place or let it rot out from under you (i.e. didn't take care of home maintenance)...but changing it to your own taste?! That is what you're SUPPOSED to do! And yeah, I don't think you're nuts for covering up that "lovely" wood paneling. LOL.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:55 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • Also ... NO her house is completely updated, it is actually kind of modern looking ... the wood paneling wasnt good enough for her house either ( they have lived there since the 60s) ... they have completely gutted and redone their house... but she expects us to keep OUR house stuck in a time warp.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:01 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • MILs exist to torment us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • (quote: Anonymous) Also ... NO her house is completely updated, it is actually kind of modern looking... but she expects us to keep OUR house stuck in a time warp.
    That surprises me!

    Well, I guess you just have a self-centered drama queen for a MIL - you have my sympathy, I have one, too.

    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 11:24 PM on May. 2, 2011

  • She probably doesn't like change. This is pretty common in older people. My mother is the same way. Just try to let it go, or have your husband talk to her about it.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:01 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • WOW! Congratulations on purchasing your new home! Nothing makes it homier than adding your own personal touch! I wouldn't let the MIL get to you, it's YOUR house and she should keep her comments to herself if they aren't positive. Best wishes!

    Answer by etexmom at 6:50 AM on May. 3, 2011

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