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4 Bumps

Would you stay with a guy if he asked you to choose between him and your family?

My bf and my family don't get along very well. We have a child together, but he says I need to choose between being with him (the father of my baby) or my family. He hates them because they think he's a bad influence on me and it's his fault I got pregnant and yadda yadda. He's threatening to sue me for custody if I continue to have contact with my family. I don't know what to do. I want what's best for my baby, but does that include him growing up without a father or growing up without a grand ma, grand pa and uncles?

Help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • I would never give up my family for any man. They are the ones that will be there for you no matter what.
    Betsi29

    Answer by Betsi29 at 2:29 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Not unless your family was a threat to you or your children. Any man that would want to pull you away from your family without a very good reason is not a good guy. He is probably selfish and immature or even worse.
    berryhappy1971

    Answer by berryhappy1971 at 2:32 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • no you shouldnt have to choose between them and if you do then i hope that it is your family that you choose...i chose a man over family and i regretted it i was so in the WRONG and i will ADMIT it..i was 15 n didnt know but now i do and take my advice dont do it....i did it for a couple years i mean i still seen my family here and there and talked to them but my whole life revolved around my ex and was just so miserable in the end...i realized family is ALWAYS going to be there MEN come and GO and family doesnt they are there FOREVER....and there for you WHENEVER..through THICK n THIN....so u dont whats best for YOU n YOUR BABY...=) wish you luck..
    anayasmommy21

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 2:40 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Hell no!!! What he is doing is abuse! Go to the court, get a protection order and file for custody. There are people that will help you for free. My ex used to threated to take my son away if I left (on top of the physical abuse) and now I have custody. Unless you are a threat to your child or your family is he can't do a damn thing. Go to the courthouse and talk to the protection order department! GL and let me know how it goes please!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 2:46 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • No I wouldn't. I don't want a relationship with someone who is manipulative and lays down ultimatums. If a man loves me he wouldn't want to give me up for anything.

    Now, I would chose my man over my family if they were being hostile to him for no reason...but that needs to be my choice with no pressure from anyone. I'm also not one who will subject myself or those I love to abusive people.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 2:50 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • NO! Absolutely not! What he is doing is being controling. He wants to pull you away from your family so he can have more control over you. He is being pathetic, cowardly, and abusive by doing this. Take him to court for child support and file for full custody.
    FroggyFeet

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 3:03 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • wow so im gonna be the odd man out and say yes. I am the black sheep of the family. I even went to see them this last weekend for my bday/easter and i left feeling like a leaper. I was in tears and im in tears after each time i visit. mean while i go see my inlaws and im respected loved and wanted. my hubby jokingly asked once to skip a visit, he loves me enough to know that i wont leave them so we try again and it happens again. and...again... one day it will come him or them. and i will chose him. My daughter will not be treated like the way i am with them. So i think it all depends on the situation and family. who respects whom more.
    KittyTussand

    Answer by KittyTussand at 3:05 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • if your family treats you good and wouldnt harm you or your baby then obviously i would say stay with your family, you also said he isnt very nice to you and your together for the baby.. thats not healthy for the baby to be around. I agree go to the court and get a protection order
    h2bnm21

    Answer by h2bnm21 at 3:12 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • That is easy, no.
    Hatsumomo

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 3:44 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • For him to threaten to sue you over custody of your child if you don't abide by him is ridiculous and oh so wrong in itself! If your family isn't hurting you then his demands are crossing the line and you need to realize that HE really is no good for you. He shouldn't hold that over your head, not cool. And if your family is bad then maybe distance yourself from them but what he's asking you to do is out of line and maybe you should distance yourself from him too. Good luck
    ProudMammaMia

    Answer by ProudMammaMia at 3:46 AM on May. 3, 2011

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