Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Mentally ill parents vs Teenage parents adult content

Please, please, if u are of a sensitive nature, do NOT read the following, contains graphic content that can be disturbing, it was for me when I had to read it.

Whether or not a parent has some sort of mental illness from depression to schizophrenia to bipolar disorder, most are not even given a chance of trying to be a parent to their baby. The DCF swoops on in like buzzards on a dead body (sorry for the image lol) and takes the baby based on the fact the mom might have had a court ordered or went by choice to the mental hospital to get help. I have been taking a course in college in the social work area and this topic came up in class. While there has been many cases on TV on the "dangers" of being a mentally ill mom like the Susan Smith thing, or the mom who drowned her child or whatever the media wants to spin that story at the time, teenage mom have a greater chance of getting rid of the baby, or abusing that baby, or killing her baby. There hasa been 40% more abuse cases with teenage moms then with the mentally ill mom. It for some reason not widely reported like it is for the mentally ill moms. I had to read a case on a 5 month baby girl that was viciously abused by her teenage dad and mom and I think the uncle too. The dad was throwing the baby to the ceiling and letting her fall back to to the floor. Then she was sexually abused!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was gonna throw up when I saw what the baby looked like, but I started to cry and left the class and went home and hugged my dd for a VERY long time. There was so many other stories on what teenage parents are capable of. Why??? I know humans are the most violent species in the world, but I never thought one can subject such an innocent human to thaty level of pain so early. I will not say what the medical examiner found when she got the baby on her table, that is what made me so ill and start crying. The grandparents of the 5 month old knew whaty was going on and said nothing. The place where the baby is resting was decorated by the town's people until the family put up a fence around the baby headstone and now all its there is trash. The parents didn't even have 1 pic of the baby smiling or playing. I really hope someone leaked t it to the prisoners about what dad did and he gets a taste of whats it like to have been forced into something. I would have no problem at all torturing those parents until they beg me to stop, then I would shoot the dad to ensure he can never reproduce again and the mom either. I have no problem being the judge, jury and the executioner. BTW, neither parent has a history of being mentally ill. I am soo sorry if I upset anyone, but we need to get more info, more resources, more awarenss of the topic of teenage parents, and to stop thinking about the teenager just being a 'baby' herself, and treat them as an adult. They made the adult decision if having sex therefore they should be treated as such. What do u all think??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on May. 3, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (28)
  • My mother was diagnosed mental illness she was also a teen mother honestly I believe we need more data, obviously all abusive horrific people such as in the story above need to be punished exactly as you feel about them but honestly I think it's a case to case basis

    Answer by LadyMitres at 4:05 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • I think if a teenage mom/dad treats their child like that, then they should be punished. But it goes the same for any parent or person who abuses or neglects a child period. I was a teen mom to 3 and I would have never thought to treat my children any other way than with love and guidance. It's not only teen parents that are capable of doing things like that. There was a story a bit ago about a mom and dad who kept their child in a cage.. she was severely malnourished and neglected. Those parents weren't teen parents and they did something unthinkable to a helpless child. Some people are worthy of being parents and there are plenty that aren't. That's the bottom line.

    I do not agree that the decision to have sex is an adult decision, though. I was not an adult at 15 and I sure as hell wasn't treated as an adult, but I took responsibility for my actions and made the best out of it. Some people can't do that.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 4:07 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • @bdflykisses.....I wish there were more parents like u in the world. The teenagers I have come across are not nearly as mature as u sound in your post and that many teen moms should look for u as a great role model. But sex is an adult decision or at least should be thought as such. I also wasn't trying to just single out the teens and the mentally ill. Believe me, I do know that adults without any illness can be incredibly abusive, I myself was severly punished by my s-dad if I so much as breathed wrong. To this day I hate doing dishes cause after I did them, he would come back in and check all the dishes and if he flet even the smalllest amount of grease, he would go thru all the cupboards and I would have to wash them all over again, every dish in the house. There were some nights I didn't go to bed until 3am onkly have to get up again in 3 hrs to go to school. Then there were the physical abuse.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:28 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • once there is a mental illness on your record, you're black listed for life. it'll haunt you in court, custody, lawsuits, restraining orders, if you're raped, etc etc. If you OD'd on aspirin 1 time 20 years ago it can prevent you from adopting, being a surrogate, daycare, foster care, certain careers, anything they make you sign a medical release waiver for. I think a mentally ill mom is stronger than a teen mom, personally..... but both need help, support, and understanding

    Answer by hibbingmom at 4:55 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • OMG that literally just made me cry.... honestly I have anxiety but I would NEVER beat my child. I think anyone that beats their child should get the same thing done to them in prison. And they will have to aanser

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:56 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • *answer to God (Sorry hit the post button lol)

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 4:57 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • OP I am so sorry.... that is so horrible you got treated like that. *hugs* no child deserves that, EVER! You just made me go hug my son!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 5:00 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • this is something that terrifies me as a mom with a mental illness. i do my best, i take my meds, i go to therapy and i do everything i am told. i wasnt diagnosed until after my 4th child but even the doctor told me to make sure i take precautions. there are abusive people in every catagory, but yes there does need to be more research and resources going into actually finding the kids that do need to be taken vs. the ones that are just fine with their parents.

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 6:41 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Frankly, as a teen mom who was living on her own at 17, working full time and caring for her child, I see myself as no different than anyone else.
    People from every walk of life, age, religious, or other demographic group abuse. It is absolutely not an issue which is acutely limited to the young, or to the mentally ill.
    If you are capable of harming an infant, you are ill, regardless of whether or not you have been diagnosed.

    By 22 I had 3 children, no support group, an abusive husband, and lived in literal hell- but priority one was to care for and protect my children. To say that a mentally ill individual is in some way "stronger" than a teen parent is completely asinine. Unless and until you've been through the trials of raising a child from such a tender age, paired with the abuse which society doles out- you're not in a position to speak with any authority on the matter.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:14 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • The grandparents of the 5 month old knew whaty was going on and said nothing.

    ...and here we have it. This is still a matter of mentally ill/unstable individuals being left responsible for an infant. I'll reiterate my previous statement, which was "If you are capable of harming an infant, you are ill, regardless of whether or not you have been diagnosed."

    Those who are aware of abuse and do nothing to intervene are just as much (and in some cases more) responsible for the abuse.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:16 AM on May. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.