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2 Bumps

When will it stop?

The bio mother of my step son has filed for child support. My hubby and I have custody she told the court she wants the support for the days she has parenting time 109 days a year. She is something else we are doing the right thing for him and she dosnt see that. My hubby dose not like conflict and has agreed to all of her requests is it wrong that I would like him to change the parenting time order giving her every other weekend cz she gets every weekend and she is a very unfit parent when he goes there she only has 2 beds and a total of 1 adult and 4 children I feel a little evil cz my stepson likes to go sometimes to see his other siblings but its not a good environment I would like to stop having to go to court every 2 months I want my hubby to put his foot down and lay down the law with her and stop giving in


Asked by rinamomof2 at 9:14 AM on May. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,629 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • If your stepchild is going to see his mother every other weekend then that is joint physical custody, it's just not "split" or "equal" custody. My ex gets our kids every other weekend, that's it - and it's still considered joint custody. I have physical "primary custody" but it's still joint. If your husband had sole physical custody, your stepchild would never be going to see his biomom.
    I know it's frustrating and it's tiring to keep going back to court! I separated from my ex 6 years ago and it still seems like we are in court all the time. He wants to change the custody order, he stops paying child support, he doesn't show up for court, etc. I have to go to court again on 5/16. I'm not sure it ever gets better. Just keep your stepson out of it as much as possible!

    Answer by missanc at 9:32 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Their child, hubs should talk to ex. You can most certainly give hubs your opinions and expectations. Good Luck

    Answer by meooma at 9:22 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • First it isnt up to you. You need to sit down with him and ask him seriously why he is conceding to everything, and I wouldnt take oh I dont like conflict as a reason. He also has no say so on how much time she spends with her son, that is up to a judge, not him or you. If a judge has found her a fit and proper parent to have joint custody, and sounds like they have, then you would have to prove a change in circumstance for eow visits, and prove she is unfit. The problem you run into is she can go buy more beds before court then you look vindictive.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:17 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Dealing with an spouces ex can be so very frustrating especially when the topic of custody comes into play. My stepson's Mom has been driving my DH and stepson crazy over the last 6 months over this same thing. What she doesn't realize is the trauma she is causing her own son. I am tired of it, but he is 17 now and this has been going on since he was 11 years. old. My DH doesn't like confrontation either because he is aftraid of losing him. I would just make sure that your DH knows where you stand on this issue and that you believe it would be in everyone's best interest to stand up to her. That is really all you can do, and just hope for the best. Good luck to you, I feel your frustrations.

    Answer by Kelly502 at 9:37 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Well I 100% believe a child needs both parents in their lives and if your SS isnt being harmed while there then allowing him a relationship with his mother and siblings is the right thing to do. Unless she does something that harms him physically your husband is in the right for what he is doing. In fact at this point if you go back to court and mom gets a decent lawyer they can argue the CO is already broken and she has had joint custody because he allowed it. I have been there done that over the years and it has taken me and biodad 10 yrs to come to where we are now, not involving the courts.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:39 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • Oh yeah trust me its not worth ALWAYS giving in with coo coos like that because one for some reason it doesn't stop the conflict and two they NEVER appreciate it. She's got some nerve asking for cs when she is not the residential parent. Take her back to court and try to get it down to every other weekend siting that she is physically and financially unable to provide for the child anymore than that on her own.

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:39 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • If DH has custody, SHE has to pay HIM cs - the parent who has the kids receives, not the other way around. If she had custody, he'd have to pay. Any judge should see that she's a moron for tryign that and throw it out the window. I'm surprised her lawyer allowed her to file, he/she should know better too - the custodial parent receives the money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • misancc- you are wrong!!! I know many people who have SOLE custody of their kids and the kids still see their other parent every other weekend. Sole custody means that the parent with custody has ALL decision making rights and the other parent has none. They still have visitation and child support. I have SOLE custody, my ex has visitation but CHOSE not to use it. He still pays child support.

    OP: Just let her keep filing, she will be the one that karma bites in the butt. Protect those kids, they will thank you later.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:21 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • No joint custody hubby has sole physical, only joint legal and the judge has denied joint physical numerous times due to her not having a stable home on average she moves every 2-3 months the only reason she has so many days is cz hubby consented.

    Comment by rinamomof2 (original poster) at 9:27 AM on May. 3, 2011

  • The judge has told her if she keeps wasting the courts time a fine of $750 will be ordered for her to pay he has yet to give her anything she has asked for, also she has no lawyer she files on her own and because she has no $ she gets a filing fee waiver so I'm hoping this time he will slap her with the fine and she will wake up. But I doubt it LOL

    Comment by rinamomof2 (original poster) at 10:05 AM on May. 3, 2011