i was once married to a man who i had 2 children with ( boy & girl ) ... we were married for almost 5 years. He changed, started being mean and got a girlfriend. His girlfriend convinced him that when we got divorced he would be better off to sign over his rights so he wouldnt have to pay for kids that arent his ( there is no doubt at all that they are his children, and in fact that woman got pregnant not to long after and THAT child turned out to NOT be his) ...
Well after he was out of our lives, things changed for us - with the help of my family I was able to buy a nice house, a vehicle ( I didnt even know how to drive when we divorced), and got my beautician lisence ( which where I live I make EXCELLENT money) .... So I felt like our lives turned out very well ... I havent dated yet because I just do not feel the need to yet.... but I have always kind of worried about my children not having a father in their lives ( I mean will they grow up to regret only making and buying fathers day things for their grandpas , who is going to walk my daughter down the aisle when she gets married, etc.)
Well I was recently contacted, and found out that my ex husband now has cancer and it doesnt look very good ( he is already very sick and even though he is going through treatment, they do not expect him to make it. ) He sent me a letter saying how he knows he was stupid, that he has changed his life around, and he wants to see me and his children atleast one more time.
My kids are still young and I just do not know what to do.... I feel like if I do not take them to see him and to say goodbye - will they hold that against me when they are older ?
I mean I dont think they will even understand who he is ( the last time they seen him my son was an infant and my daughter was 3 ) ... and then to just let them see this man who will possibly cry and try to hug them and such , and then most likely will never see him again - that could be VERY scary for them !
I have constantly thought about it , and really am no further than when i started out - I have absolutely no idea on what to do ...
Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on May. 3, 2011 in Parenting Debate
Answer by febmom007 at 11:54 AM on May. 3, 2011
Complicated. He willingly gave them up and made no attempts to contact them or be involved in their lives, ever. So, after a few minutes thinking about this,,my answer would be NO. I would not take my children to see him. Later in life if they ever questioned me I would say I felt it was in their best interest - which as the mother you have a right to do.
Answer by meooma at 11:54 AM on May. 3, 2011
Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 11:54 AM on May. 3, 2011
How old are they? You could bring it up and his situation and let them decide if they want to see him.
Answer by booger14 at 11:54 AM on May. 3, 2011
Answer by hootie826 at 11:56 AM on May. 3, 2011
Answer by Shaken1976 at 11:58 AM on May. 3, 2011
Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:59 AM on May. 3, 2011
Answer by cassey.e at 12:09 PM on May. 3, 2011
Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 12:16 PM on May. 3, 2011
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