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What do husbands expect sexually after kids and marriage? how often do they really want it? How important is it to them?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Every man is different. I would say its still very important to a man somewhat daily. Unless he's overworked and tired...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • We BOTH expect sex after kids and marriage. A lot of it and it's pretty durn important to both of us. If it's been too long we both start getting pretty pissy with each other.
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 2:54 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Not trying to be rude.. but shouldn't you ask the guy? Every person is different, I don't think anyone can answer you what will be expected in your relationship. For instance, in MY relationship - I need it at least 3 times a week. I feel happier, closer and less stressed when we're intimate no less then 3 times a week... more is always better.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 2:54 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • We both had kids when we got married. We have sex. How often really varies depending on a lot of things. Every person's sex drive is unique and changes as their lives change. Talk to your husband directly about what his needs and your needs are.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:56 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Every man is different. I know some that their drive goes way down and some it goes up. they still expect it to be alot like it was before kids and they need to realize its just not going to happen that way. I wouldnt worry if that is why you are asking. Just be the loving mother and wife you are and give it your all. He couldnt and shouldnt ask for more.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 3:04 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I think that the more appropriate question is how important is "intimacy"...sex is really just a physical way of expressing how close and connected you feel to someone. When my husband is pissing me off the last thing I want is for him to touch me, so sex can really take a nosedive if our relationship is suffering from lack of effort on both our parts to connect on an emotional level. I think he is ALWAYS in the mood to "do it" but I have to really remind him how important it is for me to feel close for us to have a good sex life. Quantitatively speaking, it all depends on the individual and their physical need for touch. Some people just need it more.
    tesdaydreamer

    Answer by tesdaydreamer at 4:19 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • It really depends. Some women let themselves go so badly that their husbands just aren't sexually attracted to them anymore. Others are still the same woman they were before the baby. Then there are the men who can't see their wives as sexual anymore once they've been pregnant. It's like having sex with their mother. So it really depends on lots of things. Every situation is different.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 4:55 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • So many factors here...no right answer. Age, need, desire, medications, all take a part in what makes up a sex life. I think men can seperate the sexual act and love more easily than women can. Sometimes I have to remind him that I am not just some one to "do" but a person with feelings that needs that connection on an emotional level to be a willing partner.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 7:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • My dad's a pastor and as such has done a lot of marriage and pre-marital counseling. One of the questions that he asks couples BEFORE they get married is what they expect out of their sex life. You'd be surprised how many couples are shocked at the question, as if they've never thought about it! Talk to your man, honey, and if you are embarrassed about it, you may want to think about some couples counseling to discuss it in a neutral environment beforehand. Life is really long if you're with someone who wants more or less than you do and it's best to find out beforehand.
    jburg2541

    Answer by jburg2541 at 9:17 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Thank you for all these great answers!! My hubby says he thinks it is important, but if it doesnt happen, it doesnt happen..... that sex is just a bonus in marriage not the foundation for it. which i totally agree with!!! but sometimes he does act like it isnt important at all, and he says it is because he is just tired or feeling bad about himself ( he just got laid off)....
    thanks again!
    mamajojo

    Answer by mamajojo at 6:35 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

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