Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How do I get my LO to sleep w/o being held?

Ok, so my LO is 10 months, and won't sleep unless he's being held. The minute you move at all, he wakes up screaming. I have tried CIO, putting him in the crib asleep or nearly asleep, and then going in to offer a pacifier and pat his back about every 10 min. He's a screamer though, he can go on forever. I usually cave after about 1-1 1/2 hours of screaming. What can I try? I know he needs to learn self soothing, but I don't want to torture him (or me). Please no bashing about how I should have started earlier, I know, but I didn't and now I need to establish a new routine without traumatizing us both.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I nurse my son until he is almost asleep and then set him in his crib and sit in the rocking chair next to him. At first he wanted to get up and fuss, shake his crib or be held again. But I just set him back down and say "It's naptime/bedtime." After the first 8 days, he got the hint and would stay laying down. After another week I was able to set him down sleepy or asleep and walk out. It will take longer than CIO, but it won't cause you or him anxiety and it achieves the same goal in the end. Good Luck!

    Answer by hill_star03 at 1:09 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • try it during the day first, sometimes being in the room with him folding laundry or something or sing to him. some people say it takes up to 3 nights of screaming to break the habit. if you're willing to put up with always having to be there then go ahead, but 10 months into it i'm sure you know it's not easy.both my kids fall asleep on their own and yes they learned early but no i'm not bashing. you dont necessarily have to be holding him to calm him. give him a shirt that smells like you, spend time in his room, even hang out and read a book if it helps you feel better. just know that you dont HAVE to pick him up. if he's changed and fed he's ok, and if you're in there there's no reason for separation anxiety

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 12:42 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • What happens if you skip the nap? That would be my first step. No nap. Usually that's all you need to do. Also check out The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

    Tend to the kids. The house will wait.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:28 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Why does a non verbal baby need to learn self-soothing? e doesn't.

    Co-sleep and he won't feel as panic and he will feel safe and secure and sleep well.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:37 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Why would you want to make a baby sleep alone and why make him cry for an hour? That's awful.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:38 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Try a papasan swing

    Answer by campbellb3421 at 12:40 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I was mainly huffy about the first poster, not you. LOL Sorry.

    Try wearing your baby in a wrap or a Ergo or Baby Hawk and baby can sleep while you get stuff done.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:45 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Look up the 5 "S"'s

    Give it a shot. You can't put a crying baby to bed. You first have to calm the baby and get him/her to the state where they can put themselves to sleep.


    Answer by meandrphoto at 12:53 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Hmmm, do you hold him all night too? I know you said hubby is there to help, but is one of you holding him all night? I know how hard it is to hear your LO cry, it hurts us mommies too :( Is he moody if he doesn't get a daytime nap? Do you think he really needs naps? I know its a sanity break for you if he does nap, but maybe he'll be a little more tired at bedtime if he skipped naps? Just a thought. GL momma.

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:53 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Does his twin brother need to be held too? bless your heart i feel for you. It isnt good to have to hold a baby all the time (for you or the baby) no matter what is said. I like the suggestion to lay him near you and try to slowly ween him off of you. It sounds mean but I know that when I was making my little boy CIO I couldnt go in there at all. It made things worse. If you know he is safe and healthy try staying out (maybe you have done this IDK) Good luck mama!!

    Answer by alligurl186 at 2:27 PM on May. 3, 2011