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Already arguing about Mother's Day

Okay so we spent Easter with MIL....I made dinner, we went to church, it was a whole big thing (and it actually went okay...MIL went back for seconds and everything...although of course she made her little snarky comment about what DD was wearing to church...I just acted like I didnt hear her...even though she repeated herself..twice)

Anyways the other day DH tells me our plans for Mother's Day...which involves going to his mothers church, then us all going to the movies, then going to his mothers house for dinner......sure that sounds great or whatever but.....where in that day does MY mother fit into the schedule??? he didnt mention her at all...

I was like Ummmm....that sounds great but I plan on spending Mother's Day with MY mother....he OBVIOUSLY did not agree with this plan (the look was all in his face) then he starts coming up with a bunch of BS.."How is it going to look if I show up at church without my wife?" I'm like "How do you think it's going to FEEL for my mom if I spend the whole day with YOUR mama and don't see MINE at all???" so then he switches tactics "I think it's more important that we go to church together" I just ignore this because he's not all concerned about church when he just doesnt feel like going...

I ask him why he would think that I would want to spend Mother's Day with his mother and not my own...of course he can't answer me...he can't tell me why it's so important to him that we spend the day together...cause as far as I'm concerned...we can just go our seperate ways, he can't tell me why he assumed I would be spending the whole day with HIS mama....he suggested we go to church at MY mother's church all together but when I asked my mom she wasnt having it (she's not a big fan of MIL either) so......not sure what to do....well I know what I'm going to do, I'm going to be spending Mother's Day with my mama but he's acting all pissy about it and I don't know how to make him see the light

Any suggestions? Please don't bash my husband. Thanx =)


Asked by Lucky209 at 1:03 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • He needs to cut the apron strings, he is being a humongous baby. You catered to him and MIL and gave her the way I see it, fair is fair. It is your turn now. Have him send a bouquet of flowers and celebrate mothers day the way you want. It is YOUR day after all.

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:12 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Why don't you have a bash at your house and invite them all.......this way no one gets hurt, and since it is your day to, I suggest you get catering to go with that.

    Answer by older at 1:08 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I think you just need to either come up with a compromise or tell him that you are spending the day with your mom. Maybe you could go to church with you DH and his mom, after church go to dinner with your mom, if going to church is really important to you DH. The other thought could be that you are a mom as well so maybe everyone could come to your house and DH could make dinner for all.

    I hated when we would have these disagreements. NOw that the kids are older I will be at the soccer field all day with my friends.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:08 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • *too*

    Answer by older at 1:08 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I say you VISIT both of your mothers on mothers day, then invite them back to your house for a Mother's Day dinner. Everyone is together. lol

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 1:10 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I agree with older, but maybe have some sort of cook-out, easy to make food. This way it won't be on you or your DH if you don't see either mom, it is their fault if they can't swallow some pride and spend the day with their babies, and you will be doing the cooking, not them. Also, then your daughter can wear whatever she wants at home :) I guess it's one of those "can't we all just get along" things.

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:12 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • All I have to say is, "I feel your pain"..... I'm wondering what is going to happen that day myself.
    I'm just a step Mom, BUT we had the whole day with his Mother on Easter (did not see my family at all) and Mothers Day is BIG for his Mom.... made him feel guilty one year cause we had breakfast with my Mom and a bunch of my family..... she made the comment, "I guess I wont be seeing you at all since you're spending the day with her family". Argh..... it was just breakfast.

    Good Luck and try to compromise.

    Answer by MrsDAP at 3:43 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Compromise of half a day with each mom, have dinner at your house or you two could just split the day between them. I have been through this a ton and it's been a pain just about every holiday. The only thing I can say for sure is it will not get better until you and your DH compromise and he understands that you each have a mother to spend time with.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:31 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Mother's Day is YOUR day, not his or your mother anymore. It gives your daughter a chance to honor her mother which is an important part of growing up. Your child needs to be allowed to have YOU for some of the day if she isn't a toddler (too young.) You need to establish family traditions & rituals of your own to foster cohesiveness in your own family dynamic. If you allow your respective mothers to intrude & alter this natural path, then they are the only ones being honored - not YOU. Set your boundaries now - snarky MIL comments are not allowed - you & DH can implement consequences for such behavior starting with DH telling MIL that negative opinions about you & your mothering (your daughter's clothing) are attacks on you & won't be tolerated. All holidays can be shared with both parents at your house but Sunday, DH does all the planning & cooking or do a potluck. If they decline, so be it. If they gripe, let them

    Answer by flightless at 10:52 AM on May. 4, 2011