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I've done all that i can to make my boyfriend's family like me

Well I've been with my boyfriend for 8yrs now and in the beginning he told me that his aunt (mainly his aunt) and the rest of his family preferred his ex over me, because she was more talkative and just went the extra mile to make the aunt like her,so whenever I tried to do something to make the lady like ask her if she needed help with anything so on and so forth and she would say no I'm okay and just do it herself, so it seemed like whatever she thought in their family is what goes, I mean after I got pregnant she got on board and was somewhat supportive but she also told me while I was pregnant that she still preferred my bf's ex over me after like 6 yrs of me and him being together. I mean but what's so confusing is that this lady would buy me things for mother's day and christmas gifts but last year everything pretty much took a whole new turn because she decided that fore my son''s first bday party she would ruin it and

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Asked by marchelle26 at 1:17 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (125 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Your boyfriend probably should not have told you that they like his ex better than you. You are stuck with them and could do everything humanly possible and they still might not like you. Is that something you are willing to live with?

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:21 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Damn, you just can't please everybody, and you shouldn't have to :) Probably b/c the ex was a butt kisser, and you're not and shouldn't have to be. You are not with the aunt, you are with her nephew, so tough shit for her. That is sad she had to ruin your son's party, I would not put forth the effort of trying to get her to like me after that. If she doesn't like you for the way you are, her loss.

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:23 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • :( I am sorry things suck. I am in a similar situation with my husbands parents. Just his parents, though, his aunts, grandma, etc and I are tight, email, talk often, etc. Eventually I had to write a letter and turn things into a business like relationship. She makes appointments to see the kids, and she can call them whenever she wants. If I see her on the caller ID I had the ph. to whichever kid is closest to me. Strictly business, no pleasure.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:23 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • First of all it is crappy that your boyfriend told you this. What is the point other than to hurt your feelings. Continue being kind. If they are not supportive, limit your contact with them. You can't "make" them like you. You can't control that. The Ex is gone they should just move on as well.

    Answer by emzmom568 at 1:25 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I personally favor cutting toxins off the family tree.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:49 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • and cause some unnecessary drama between my family and her family, so the whole party was pretty much a bust and everyone didn't get alone as i expected. My boyfriend also had some type of fling with his aunt's bestfriend a long time ago and supposely his aunt didn't know anything about it but I find out from my boyfriends uncle's girlfriend that she knew all a lone and I had this woman in my home and treated her with the up most respect out of consideration for the aunt and my boyfriend and to just avoid any unneccessary drama. And whenever they have some type of gathering she's always trying to tell me how i should cheat on my boyfriend and get my fun out now because I'm going to regret it later, my boyfriend asked her why she does that and she responded that she thought it was funny, he also told her that we were going to get married by the end of the year and instead of her being happy for us she tried to tell me reasons

    Comment by marchelle26 (original poster) at 2:22 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • why i shouldn't marry him, and now she's trying to involve me into some he say ,she say drama, basically the uncle's girlfriend was venting and sharing some information with me about the uncle so she tells me that she knew that my boyfriend had something going on with the aunt's bestfriend and that the aunt knew about it the whole time (which was something that I thought was a secret between the two, i didn't know that, it was something that was pretty much being past around) so i went back and confronted my boyfriend about it and i made him promise that he wouldn't go back and say anything because what was told me was in confidence but then he went back and told his uncle what was said and in order to avoid a domestic situation the lady decided to say that i told her that the uncle was messing around with the aunt's other bestfriend (which is something i had no ideal about, and something that she told me that she found out

    Comment by marchelle26 (original poster) at 2:31 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • by going through his phone and seeing text messages/phone numbers that was sent from the aunt's other bestfriend to the uncle, so instead of the everyone trying to handle the situation like adults should normally handle it the uncle called the aunt and basically the aunt called my phone telling my boyfriend that she's going to curse me out and she and her friend are going to come over and tell me about myself and so on and so forth. So my boyfriend tried to get her to calm down and get to the bottom of the situation but she didn't want to hear anything that he had to say so they haven't talked since (and that was in January)

    Comment by marchelle26 (original poster) at 2:37 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • it hurts me because this is the only family my boyfriend has so for things to pretty much take a turn on my behalf i don't want to be the one responsible for his family breaking up you know. I mean I told him plenty of times to just try to go and talk to his aunt I don't have to be around for anything and he refuse to, he feels like she needs to respect him and the decisions he chose to make and she doesn't have any right to disrespect the woman he decided to be with, he said that he asked her to atleast attempt to have a relationship with his son and she chose not to. So now the only aunt he has left is his other aunt two faced sister who thinks its okay to smile in your face and talk badly about you behind your back...And i say this because this lady has told my boyfriend that she didn't want me coming to her bday party because she thought that i would ruin it (because i don't smoke or drink), she has instigated arguments

    Comment by marchelle26 (original poster) at 2:52 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • between me and the main aunt and my boyfriend thinks that its because she let the main aunt influence her but who knows, however eventhough this lady has done all of these things whenever she needed some gas money a place to stay for her and her two young kids i had her back and made sure that my boyfriend and i helped her out i even told my boyfriend to let her use my car so that her son can get to school everyday, because her car caught on fire,even when she ran out of gas i went to the gas station and made sure i gave her enough money so that she can make it back to the motel that she was staying in. But yet again on easter day she stirred up some mess between me and my boyfriend's cousin; because me and my boyfriends cousin girlfriend went to the grocery store and while we were gone the aunt tells the nephew to watch us because we maybe gossiping , which there wasn't anything at all said on my behalf it was told to me that

    Comment by marchelle26 (original poster) at 3:00 PM on May. 3, 2011

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