I would have a heart to heart, face to face, chat with her alone. Let it all out on the table; let her spill her side as well. I have been a step mom in two relationships now, and when a BM is doing things in spite or other it usualy has something to do with these 3 things:
She has some issues with the way you are doing things.
She is not happy with her situation and wants you to feel it.
She wants to gain back the, I'll take her side from the ex - hubby.
being a step parent is never easy and you are always stuck in that rut with someone. You just have to remain strong, focus on the kids and never ever play sides with the children. When it comes to the grown up relationships remind them that the children can gain the best of both worlds out of the relationship. They get three parents to share with and the exwife should be included in on the family events for the kids only 2 stay out of your relationship w hubby.
at 2:05 PM on May. 3, 2011