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4 Bumps

What would YOU do? (carseat nazi's this ?is for YOU)

I have a friend whom I always tell she needs to buckle her daughters carseat when she puts her in MY car. She will buccle the top, but not the bottom. So I willalways reach back and buckle it. I tried talking to her about it and told her that if an accident happend her daughter could DIE. I tried being as nice and as none judgemantal as I could and I told her that I just care about here and her kids and her daughter needs to be in the carseat correctly. I told her I think she is a good mom, but she just has some things she needs help with. she responds to me with this "you need help with a lot but I don't say anything, I know what I am doing and it's none of your buisness. I don't need to be told what to do by a 21 yr old. I know how to raise my kids". I just left it at that. I don't know what else i can do. She has already had her eldest taken away, but than got placed back in her care after 2yrs for living in an unsanitary house. Her house is now sanitary. But she just doesn't get it and I am just trying to help. I am at a loss. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 
amberpatterson

Asked by amberpatterson at 2:17 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (3,170 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I would have said, my car my rules. Easy as that.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 2:18 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • my car my rules my insurance my ass on the line.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:19 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I would just arrange to take two cars if she cant be bothered to follow the standards you have in your car. What she does in he own car is her business and if she isnt following the law then she will loose in the end whether is it by going back to jail or loosing her kids for good. I would not call CPS on anyone unless there is direct physical harm being done. Who am i to judge the conditions of anyone elses home unless I want others to do the same of mine (not that mine is messy at all)....it is a shame that she doesnt want to keep her child safe and doesnt have enough respect for you and the fact that your the driver so it in the end will fall on you if something were to happen. Or ask that she be the one to drive and ensure your child is properly restrained and that way it doesnt fall on you if she is pulled over.
    mammamcglynn

    Answer by mammamcglynn at 2:52 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • When they are in your car she has to follow whatever you say or just say then get out of the car you arent coming with me. Its my car. My rules.
    As for any other time well theres nothing you can do about it. They are her kids. Sadly if something happens you will know you told her so, but you cant force someone to be responsible. If you are fishing for a report her to cps, you wont get one from me.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:23 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • it is always touchy when you tell any mother how to do their job. You have to tread lightly as i'm sure its a senitive subject for her. I can see where you are coming from. You are just trying to help out and you are genuinely concerned. I say what the other say.. My rules my car.. and say it as nice as possible. When you say she buckles the top not the bottom you mean like... she clips the arm restraints but doesn't buckle the bottom down into the carrier? but t he Car seat IS seat belted and secure in the car?..
    staciepi

    Answer by staciepi at 2:26 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Seriously.. How can you be friends with someone like this?? I would be far too bothered to be around someone who clearly is a terrible mother - call me a bitch or whatever but it would be too much work for me to deal with
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:31 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • In light of the fact that she's been to jail for this issue, I would have said "Apparently you DO need help in this area since you have learned NOTHING about how to properly fasten a seat belt, even after going to jail!"
    OK, I probably wouldn't have said that since it would have only caused more friction. I would have gone with the my car-my rules routine, but I sure as hell would have thought about saying something along those lines! Why are you friends with such an unfit mother? And before I get jumped for being judgmental, it's not just me who thinks this. More than one judge has deemed her an unfit parent since she's had her child taken away more than once. She keeps getting second chances, but what is the final straw and deciding factor in this...a dead or injured child?
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 4:00 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Print out the state laws and show them to her. Let her see what the fines could be for not following. Take her to the fire dept and have them show her how to properly secure her child. Youtube the Coble children video and have her watch that.
    Shaken1976

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 2:19 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • this is pretty simple just tell her that until she places the child in the seat correctly she can not be transported in your car..or tell her that those are the rules and you are not willing to have a death of a child on your mind bc of being careless or stupid..just be honest if it makes her mad let it!!!! Tell her you are not willing to sacrafice her childs life!
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 2:22 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You already said it. You can dictate what happens in your car, but not what she does in her car.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 2:24 PM on May. 3, 2011