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If you could force words to actually sink in to someone that asked for advice...

what would those words be? I hate when people ASK for help or advice but don't want to hear it when they hear something other than "that's ok, I'll do it for you."
I am not talking about people that are set in their ways or think they are doing just fine. I mean people that just cannot get it together and won't change a thing but yet are always asking for help. People that would rather just live their lives without lifting a finger. I throw my hands up and refuse to help anymore.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • I find that people usually just want a sympathetic ear and just want to vent their problems. Any suggestions you may make that may seem to be remedies, may in reality, turn out not to be. For example, my friend was murdered by her estranged husband after he took their children to his parents house. He then killed himself. Nobody in the family ever expected that her husband was capable of that and were in shock about it. If you had advised her to leave her husband and it appears that this precipitated the loss of control and rage that drove him to shoot her, you would feel terrible wondering about it. Likewise, if she stayed with him per your advice and he murdered her, you might also feel terrible. I hesitate to dispense advice over many issues because I usually discover that I don't have the whole story or all the facts. Just lending an ear is usually sufficient and maybe some small gesture to show that you care.

    Answer by flightless at 7:21 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Sometimes people ask for the help, but in reality aren't ready to change whatever it is that is causing them grief. They will only listen to advice when they are ready to make a change.

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 4:44 PM on May. 3, 2011