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3 Bumps

Ugh. This is why I don;t like to hang out with her ! How to deal with a GROWN copy-cat ?

5 years ago I became friends with this woman ( right before we graduated high school ) , our families knew each other so I guess that is how we started talking. We were not best friends or anything like that, but basically just to hang out every once in awhile.

We had our oldest daughters 2 weeks apart, and we also got married around the same time too, so I thought we could end up being closer some day because we had alot of similarities.

But now I just think of a big old copy-cat when i think of her, almost like she is trying to be like me !!!

I got pregnant with my 2nd when my oldest was 8 months old... a few months later her and her husband say they are trying for another. A couple years later i find out I am pregnant with my 3rd and wouldnt you know it, she said they are also trying to get pregnant with their 3rd ( she found out she cant have anymore though) .

we buy a brick house, they buy a brick house.

I get a mini-van a week later she also gets one ( although mine is silver, hers is red) .

Our oldest daughters are now in T-ball, I had my daughters helmet special-y done to have her name put on it, and then my "friend" kept saying how cute it was and asking where I got it done at - i KNEW she would get her daughters helmet done too... so I didnt tell her where we got it done.... but of course she showed up to practice last night with it done !

i am about to go off on her ! This is crazy we are 23 year old women she shouldnt be trying to play games !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (20)
  • Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery or however that saying goes.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 2:53 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • ahhh petty!!! These are normal things... a natural progression... are you the only mother to have a mini van? are you the only family allowed to buy a brick house in the area?? Are you the only one who wants kids close in age?? This is just petty...


    Answer by Crafty26 at 2:55 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I can see about the helmet....but a house and a car. Those are awfully big purchases JUST to be like somebody. Since you both have children similar in age, the mini-van might be a necessity for her family. Are there a lot of brick houses in the area - that could be a coincidence.


    Answer by cheekycherub at 2:59 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I see this more as a compliment than anything else. The girl admires you and wants to be like you. What an honor to be looked up to like that!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:01 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • it's a compliment yes, but that doesn't make it any less annoying! I had a girl who did the same thing, all the way to copying how I talked, my clothes and even my hair style. odddd....however, I live states away from her now but I've known her since 1st grade

    Answer by -lovingliam- at 3:09 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I think you can either decide that it is nice and/or a little bit sad that she seems to put so much value on everything you do and that she clearly admires you, and just let it go. Or you can decide that it bothers you too much and put distance between the two of you. She's not likely to change, some people are just followers, or they are just envious people who always want the things other people have. If you can't handle that, and I'm not saying you should, then just let the friendship fizzle out by seeing her and talking to her less. I don't think it would bother me personally but I could see how it would be annoying, and it's probably one of those things where once you start noticing the copying every little thing starts to seem like she is just repeating your every move. Good luck.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:14 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I think you're worrying about it too much, OP. But if you don't like it that much, then simply stop associating with her.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:15 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I can see where it is annoying, but at the same time i think you are looking too much into it. The house thing isn't anything big. There are lots of brick homes out there. In fact I would love to liv in one but i don't/ The minivan, i wouldn't think it would be anything she would copy because i hat minivans. I think they are ugly.If i were going to copy a vehicle i woul dmake sure it was a cool one. So she may have just needed the space. and as for the helmet, maybe her daughter wanted one with her name on it. just today i had to ask a parent where they got the sponge bob pillow there child had because my child wanted one. Kids don't see the harm in it.

    Answer by jaceyrayesmom at 3:18 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • The kids, house and vaan... sorry she did not plan to get married etc. at the same time... And SO WHAT that she had her helmet done too..,. you had a great cute idea and she liked it... I'd say you are NOT a friend and pretty petty not to tell her to begin with... she like your idea and she got it for her dd too....
    sorry, Have you considered that YOU are the one over thinking it???

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 4:30 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I think the only thing that was even close to copying was the helmet. People copy good ideas all the time. It's why I am growing tomatoes in containers right now. My son does it, and I copied it. The other stuff is necessity and coincidence.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 4:52 PM on May. 3, 2011

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