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2 Bumps

Failing 8th Grade - teachers please respond

My ds is 14 and sad to say when he doesn't see the point of something he just won't do it or will do the minimal. Now here we are with 4 weeks of school left and all the sudden the teachers want to let me know he is facing retention. I was aware of his grades throughout the year - They sent home a list of "tutors" the school recommends and the school board will pay for....however the ones I selected (3 out of 6) were no longer offered and MANY MANY MANY calls to the department head got me no where. I have grounded, studied with, sat in class rooms, cried, yelled, did the same homework he was working on (acting as a second student because sometimes even I don't "get" the work) We conferenced 3 weeks ago and I was iinformed he needed to bring up his Literature grade or he would be retained. Yesterday the progress reports come home and in 1 week he has went from an A in lit to a F!!! Why? I asked that very question, she "gives in class assignments and xx doesn't finish IN class therefore they are late" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He has lit 5th period out of 6....so an hour can bring your grade down THAT far? IDK what to do I don't even know what my question is. My dh is of no assistance as he doesn't think school work is that important til he sees the grades then he just flips on the kid for a few minutes, then ask if he wants to go play on the computer!!!!! Is there a bridge nearby?

 
brypmom

Asked by brypmom at 2:53 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (4,217 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I have to second your husband's role in this. He is a MAJOR factor in why your son is not seeing the importance of schoolwork. Your husband MUST get on board. Also 8th grade is a huge milestone and turning point, from here on out the kids earn high school credit, so I would say he is NOT ready to move on and quite frankly retention will probably be a good thing for him.
    mjande4

    Answer by mjande4 at 9:33 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Sometimes, a child has to fall flat on his face to learn the lesson. Guess he will be repeating the 8th grade!! Lesson learned!!

    Sounds like you need to meet with the teacher/guidance/principal again, then you will know you did all you can.

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 2:58 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Honestly, if he isn't doing the in class work in a timely manner - does he really need to be going on to HS?

    You cannot continue to hand hold your son through school. Sometimes the best motivator is being held back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Well my daughter is in the 8th grade. I luckily have my fiances support and guidance. I wasn't that strict with her until he and I got together and he has helped me greatly. Every day she is to do homework at the table, no tv. When she is done, she does her chores and then can watch tv. If she doens't do her chores, she doesn't get an allowance. We pay her for every A and B she gets on her report card. Some people think that is wrong but it works. If she has a single missing assignment not completed there is no computer, no cell phone no tv.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 2:56 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Wow! I agree it does sound crazy that he can go from an A to an F that quickly. However, I also don't understand how he had an A to begin with if he has been struggling through the year and tutors were suggested. I agree with the other Mom's; sometimes letting your children fall is the best lesson learned. As parent's we have to do this a lot and the only thing we can do is stand by them and help them to pick up the pieces. Maybe you could even talk to his teacher about a summer class or find a way to work with him during the summer on this subject so that next year, when he is repeating the 8th grade, he will be ahead of the game. Good luck to you, I hope you are able to figure this out.

    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 6:28 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • hugs

    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 5:07 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Sometimes kids need to fail on their own to see their errors. You can NOT hold his hand anymore. HE has to be the one to do the work and turn it in. It is now time for HIM to be responsible for his own actions. I have the same issue with my son, who is a Freshman in high school. The teachers do NOT take work from the parents and expect the teen to do what is necessary to pass the classes on their own. And yes, a child can fail a class very quickly. My son has a project that is worth 400 points, his entire grade for the quarter and right now he is failing because he refuses to turn in the work. I can't and won't hold his hand. HE has to be the one to do his work or he will never learn how to succeed. It is NOT up to the teacher to ask for homework after the due date, it is up to the student.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:48 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • We have an online access to our children's grades assignments and attendance, which is provided by the school system. I saw that my son in 7th grade, had not handed in a few hw assignments and called him on it. We stressed how much these can affect a grade, so that an A can drop quickly. I checked his agenda for hw for a week or 2 to be sure he was doing the work. He is very smart and capable, but I took away all distractions, like the WII and TV during the week. From there, I've done everything I can, and it's up to him. Your son sounds capable of doing the work, just needs to be doing it. The prospect of repeating a grade over and his friends/classmates moving on should be enough of a reason for him to get with it, but if not he will hopefully learn from that experience. I am a substitute teacher and in class work is almost always homework if they don't finish. I would ask to see ALL of the grades!!!
    dflygirl7

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 7:51 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I would say that with your husbands NON-SUPPORT on this that is certainly playing into this esp. since the same sex role model is the father and if he pooh-pooh's the importance of studies then the boy has an easy out (my Dad doesn't think it's important). Try your hardest to get your husband on the same playing field as you. Will he go to the school with you to talk with the teachers? I feel bad for you as I have a 12 yo dd that I have to push and push to see the importance of studies. Like you only get one chance at all this, I tell her. She turns herself around but it's a constant struggle. I think some kids are that kind, that you have to push and prod more.
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 9:26 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I really don't know what you can do, it is not really easy to force a child to care when they just don't care.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:34 PM on May. 4, 2011

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