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3 Bumps

How do I get my family to consider step kids as part of the family?

Answer Question
 
spoild-brat

Asked by spoild-brat at 3:20 PM on May. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • just include them in everything you do.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 3:20 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Tell them straight out that's the way it is!!

    I was lucky my step family did this from day one... and my step grandfather was the only one alive to dance with me at my wedding!! ;o)

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 3:21 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • well they should have welcomed them when they knew you were marrying their dad or going to marry their dad. just let them know that your step kids will be doing family things and joining you in those events and to please accept them. now if they dont' then your best thing to do is not do anything with your family until they have.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:28 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Were a blended family and my husbands parents had no choice but to accept my kids. They were with us all the time and my husband told them if they wanted to be in our lives and our new babies life they had to accept them.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:28 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Always include them as much as you can and dont ever make a difference between the children. So often it isnt your household that discourages a unity, its the other side of the family..meaning the ex's family. Step children have several sets of families that they have to contend with and unfortunately theres always one side of the extended family that wont let go and uses the children as pawns to manipulate. That plays a big part in they way you have to adjust on a daily bases to meet all the kids and your family's needs to make a united unit. When the steps kids are having fun, their made to feel guilty or have to make a choice. So its not easy and your job is cut out for you. The most important thing is to instate to all the kids that you love them very very much and do little things to help them think of each other in love. Exchange cards with each other. Gifts, homework, movies...family unity always! Hugs & Good luck.
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 3:31 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • If it were me I would make it a point to talk to my family and tell them straight out how I feel. . I'd remind them that my step-kids ARE part of the family and I consider them to be "my/our" children (and not just hubby's kids). I would also ask that my family treat the step-kids the same way they would treat any child I had and to also include my step-kids in family events as well.
    If the family cannot treat the kids the same or welcome the kids into the family then I would boycott attending family events until they learn to accept my blended family.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:52 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I would remind any adult family that these are children. Children don't ask to come from broken homes, they don't ask to have to adjust to being part of a blended family. The kids have enough to deal with without adults in their extended step-families making their lives harder. If the adults have issues that's their perspective, but taking those issues out on a child by treating them as if they are less than, is not ok. If my family could not get on board with treating my step-children in a loving way I would have serious reservations about including those family members in my everyday life.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:01 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • My husband accepts my older children as his, we are even starting the adoption process soon. His family however does not see it that way and will not include them in anything, they don't ask about them or anything. We have twin 3.5 yr olds together so it hurts even more when they buy the twins things and not the older kids. We have stopped asking them over and taking the kids to see them until they can accept that my husband has 4 kids not just 2.
    2and2onway

    Answer by 2and2onway at 4:03 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • envove them with other kids activity & vactions & ask them what they enjoy most & do it together or fix a meal together!!
    sassy21176

    Answer by sassy21176 at 5:00 PM on May. 3, 2011

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